Inspirational Wisdom for a Remarkable Year…

Fresh blank calendar pages have been placed before you.  The year 2011 is here.  How will YOU fill in the days?

 What do you need to STOP doing to make this year remarkable?

What do you need to START doing to make this year extraordinary?

The Wisdom Project is on a mission to Connect people through the Sharing of personal wisdom gained from life experiences, so together we can ignite Inspiration around the world.  Imagine an enormous united group striving to give hope and encouragement to others to help them move forward in life!  We would like to offer some inspirational wisdom each person is able to apply during the New Year:

• Dare to be Happy.
• Love more; Smile more; Appreciate more
• Don’t believe all you hear and don’t spend all you have.
• When you say “I love you”…MEAN IT.
• When you say “I’m sorry”…look the person in the eye.
• Be patient with you. Allow yourself the room to grow.
• Enjoy the journey – there are valuable lessons in both the highs and the lows.
• Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.
• Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
• Don’t judge people by their relatives.
• Love deeply and passionately - you might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.
• When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
• Be nice to YOU - take time to recharge, refresh and renew.
• Love everyone where they are at - you don't know what someone is going through until you walk a mile in his shoes.
• Remember the three A's all humans are looking for - Appreciation, Approval, and Acceptance.

Connect - Share - Inspire...The Wisdom Project

Now it's YOUR turn...We value your wisdom. What would you add to this list??

Spilling the beans: A look inside The Wisdom Project 2010

Once upon a time, in a land called the United States, there was a woman who sat comfortably in her comfortable home in her comfortable chair, holding her comfortable coffee cup in hand, looking out to the familiar scene in her backyard reflecting on her comfortable life, content with the beautiful blessings all around her in the life she had created.  With a smile flowing from ear to ear, a little voice exploded into her head at the same level as a roaring freight train running at full throttle… “What are you doing with the gifts and strengths you have been given? Are you living your potential?  Is this really what life is all about….for YOU?

This final week of the calendar year 2010 was a perfect time to look back to where life was prior to The Wisdom Project and just how much this international venture has impacted my “comfortable” life.

The Wisdom Project was birthed March 2010 in Sydney, Australia. In 10 months….

• I have been connecting, learning, growing, giving, reading, writing, speaking, inspiring and encouraging…
• All the while still being a mom, chef, taxi driver, calendar manager, housekeeper, friend and daughter.
• Each day I Tweet, Facebook, blog, text, Skype, email, and/or talk on the phone…
• I laugh, cry, get interrupted unexpectedly, and show both frustration and joy…
• And I receive the most amazing messages of love and support from The Wisdom Tribe.
• Life still happens and it sometimes requires “inked events” on the calendar to get postponed.
• My vision gets bigger each day.
• Although I should be thrilled that the team is working diligently to edit these phenomenal stories for the first book, my DNA continues to rev its engine, trying to remember that quality takes time.
• The people I have connected with are some of the most amazing people in the world…truly.
• The stories from the contributors have touched my heart like nothing else…
• And in 2011, I will put these pieces of artwork into a book and share them with the world.
• The power in the potential of this project gives me chills (at times) when thinking of its enormity.
• I've learned that getting outside once a day is absolutely necessary, even with deadlines…and
• When people say social media is killing relationships, I laugh, and stand tall knowing the rich relationships I have made through it are for forever.
• 2010 has revealed that a whirlpool bath, a glass of wine and an iPod are fantastic rewards for powering through some days.
• Not every day is easy and fulfilling…but this journey is worth the fight.
• I will continue to smile, grow, connect, give and pour all my heart and soul into The Wisdom Project because I believe that together we can ignite inspiration around the globe to encourage people to take a step forward in life.

CONNECT – SHARE – INSPIRE…HAPPY NEW YEAR

HOW ABOUT YOU?

How has your life been improved in 2010? What does 2011 hold for you??

A very Merry Christmas to each of you! We are so grateful for the beauty you add to our life. May 2011 be your best year ever, filled with magic moments and spectacular achievements. Remember to love each person where they are at. Give a smile to each person you meet. Make your days count. Life may not be perfect but it is still a gift. 

The BEattitudes for the Season

BE Grateful

BE Loving

BE Wise

BE Kind

BE Patient

BE Forgiving

BE Happy

BE YOU

We love you. 

The Wisdom of Love...

One of the strongest experiences you can have driving in your car, is the day you bring your new born child home from the hospital after giving birth.  The weight of the new responsibility sits firmly on your shoulders.  At each intersection of the drive, you offer one extra glance to the right and to the left before proceeding, giving care to accelerate as smoothly as possible.  The sky looks bluer than you’ve ever seen, the sun feels warmer than you’ve ever felt, the air smells fresher than you can remember and your heart is overflowing with joyful sensations.

It’s undeniable - THIS is LOVE.

The days, weeks and months pass while raising this child, offering a rainbow of emotions from anxiety to zeal.  Your patience is tested and you are asked to make decisions not for yourself but what is best for another.  Many times you awake in the middle of the night, shuffle to this child’s room and find peace within when you see them fast asleep.  The tears well up as you feel their innocence.

It’s undeniable – THIS is LOVE.

As the months fade into years you often find yourself looking back on the beautiful memories of this child that made you laugh and even the ones that made you cry.  The time passes quickly – each day seemingly faster than the one before.  You have poured your heart and soul and breath of life into this child only to wake up one day and realize it was YOU who was given life.

It’s undeniable – THIS is LOVE.

We are called not only to love the children but each and every individual around us.  It matters not if this assignment is easy or difficult – the stem hampered with thorns, still produces a captivating rose.  Isn’t it time we take our eyes off ourselves and truly “see” another? 

It’s undeniable – THIS is LOVE.

 

The Wisdom of Appreciation...

Appreciation:

The recognition of the quality, value, significance or magnitude of people and things

Recognition of the quality or value of things:

Many people picture a brilliant diamond when thinking of something of value. Recently, I met some wonderful people from South Africa who were enamored with my name. They were giddy when telling me of the world renowned Kimberley Mine in Kimberley, North Cape, South Africa and the Argyle Diamond Mine in Kimberley, in the far north-east of Western Australia. With their eyes, they expressed the value they held of these diamond mines. They conveyed a whole new appreciation for my name and shared such love when talking of my potential inside because I was given such a first name. How humbling that a new acquaintance could have that level of appreciation.

Recognition of the significance of people and their feelings:

Last weekend, we traveled a distance to gather for a family wedding. The joy of the occasion was not enough to overlook a fast moving virus which was attacking my youngest child. I had no choice but to go back to the hotel and give her rest. Her fever soared, her stomach pained and she collapsed in bed. She expelled every ounce of food from her frail body. In her weakness she relied fully on me to ‘make it all better’. I sat on the floor, stroking her hair waiting for her to fall asleep. The tears began to softly fall down her cheek; there was something she wanted to say. The words pierced my heart as would any mother who had spent the last 12 years in sheer devotion to her child who had overcome so much sickness. Her lips quivered as she said “Daddy promised to dance with me at the wedding dance.” I knew how much this meant to her and I too began to sob. So many emotions came forward – but the thing that overshadowed all the grief at that point was my appreciation for her sweet sensitive heart. How grateful I was to be learning from an innocent child: how to appreciate the significance of people.

What quality, value, significance or magnitude do you appreciate in people or things?

Today is a new day…may you find appreciation for everyone and everything around you.

 

15 Plus One - Another Day...

Today is a new day which gives us another reason to smile. If you are looking for something to help get the corners of your mouth to turn upward toward the sky, here are more little expressions to help you…15 new thoughts (plus my personal favorite) for another day. Remember, I did swipe these off my coffee cup, but they are still good. :-)


1) Be the first to enter and the last to leave the dance floor.

2) Indulge in chocolate therapy.

3) Plant lots of trees.

4) Spin the globe then pack your bags.

5) Dare to adventure.

6) Marshmallows have no nutritional value, and that’s ok.

7) Only look back if it makes you smile.

8) Step 1: Rake leaves – Step 2: Jump!

9) You’ll only be your current age once.

10) Dance in the rain.

11) Donate blood – you have plenty.

12) Sing out loud.

13) Spend time with your kids; tomorrow they’re a day older.

14) Have a favorite charity.

15) Be the first to apologize.
.

And PLUS ONE (my personal fav)…

Learn to say thank you in ten languages.

Take Care of the Troops...

Last week the Get Motivated! business seminar rolled through the city in which I live. The attractive line-up of successful speakers drew me to the event and it did not disappoint. It was an opportunity to be coached by some very dynamic achievers who shared their sensational wisdom on both a professional and personal level.

One speaker that took the stage by storm with his leadership message was General Colin Powell – who after years of distinguished military service, served as both the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff under United States President Clinton and Secretary of State for United States President George W. Bush. The crowd expected a point-blank message yet General Powell gave so much more. He showed his courageous leadership through military experiences, but also gave insight to his family. With humor and a huge smile, he shared a story about his grandson encouraging grandpa to learn to text and use Facebook.

We learned of how General Powell interacted with famous dignitaries as well as immigrant hot dog vendors all in the same day – showing us that the role of the leader in an organization is to convey the mission with a passion. He reminded everyone that the best leaders get everyone vibrating with the purpose. When the leader can effectively communicate, with each person on the team, their individual purpose, that is when the organization will succeed. People are looking for leaders who will ‘take care of the troops’. The only thing heard in the arena at this point was the sound of pens and pencils hitting note paper.

General Powell solidified his message of leaders ‘taking care of the troops’ with a rather simplistic example. It seems the power of a small, plain white 3X5 note card may be understated. This legendary soldier-statesman believes that people need to know they are appreciated – no matter what their role on the team may be. He shared an impactful story of how he one day removed an inexpensive note card out of his pocket, wrote a brief note of appreciation and ‘glad you are on the team’ sentiment and placed the card where a quiet unassuming team member, whom the General had little contact with, could find it. After much time had passed, General Powell found himself in this young man’s house for whatever reason. There on the wall, was the 3x5 note card exquisitely framed and delicately mounted.

The words of the General Colin Powell resonated through the arena:

10 seconds of my time and 2 cents from my wallet equaled a $150 framed memory for one young man.

Let people know they are appreciated. Let them know you are glad they are a part of the team. People are looking for leaders who will ‘take care of the troops’.

Hope Will Not Be Extinguished...

It was 40 days ago we stood at the cemetery, April wind blowing through our hair, gathered around the casket of a family member. The heels on my sandals sank into the saturated grass, dowsed with a heavy rain the night before. My teenage daughter and I stood with linked arms supporting each other through our grief and tears. A Lieutenant Colonel of the United States Army in full military uniform stood to attention ready to address the quiet mourners. He removed from his pocket, a single white sheet of paper. With shaking hands and legs and a quiver in his voice, he delivered a passionate and heartfelt story recounting the numerous times he was impacted by the man we were burying. This soldier was not family by blood but by choice – choosing to honor our heroic family member with the title “dad”. This decorated officer, who committed his life to serve a purpose greater than himself, struggled to speak each word, choking back the tears while he stood alone in front of the crowd. For 20 minutes we listened to a courageous leader share nugget after nugget of extraordinary wisdom – he touched the hearts of everyone in attendance.

Sorrow shows up without invitation...but it cannot extinguish hope.

The sorrow was still with us, but we saw a new hope in this soldier’s words. He was evidence of a life that was changed because one man took the time to mentor and share his wisdom with another. We stood taller and felt proud to be part of such a giving family.

Now just 40 days after that unforgettable event, we are mourning the death of the Lieutenant Colonel who was killed during duty in Afghanistan by a suicide bomber.

Sorrow shows up without invitation…but it cannot extinguish hope.

Today our hearts are filled with even deeper sorrow. It seems to take more courage than before to find hope in this horrific circumstance. Twenty-four hours have passed since this news shook my world. I now have begun to rise up and choose to look for the hope – a choice everyone has to make on their own.

Just a few months ago, I began a new venture called The Wisdom Project. I’ve spent all my time and efforts gathering stories of Wisdom, for a book, from women around the world. The foundation of this project lies in the hope that when one person shares their wisdom – another person is strengthened. This is the hope I wish to give to others to encourage and inspire generations. This is the hope I want to pass on.

All this sorrow came into my life without an invitation, but the hope will not be extinguished. It will live on through The Wisdom Project.



For questions about The Wisdom Project go to:
http://www.thewisdomproject.info/

To submit a story, please send an email to:
yourstory@thewisdomproject.info

Relationships First Business Second...

Two or three days a week my morning begins with a workout after the car pool duties have been completed. Many days, as most moms’ can relate to, there are a series of errands that need to be completed, such as bank deposit, stamps from the post office, groceries, etc. Today was nothing unusual. A package with a prepaid label had to be delivered to The UPS Store (I refer to them as ‘Brown’). Behind the counter, the energetic young man with great eyeglass frames and adorable balding head asked how he could help me. I smiled politely and greeted him with a hearty hello. The box that held my fragile item was a bit unassuming and needed some attention. We had used all the packaging tape we owned and came up a bit short in completing the task.

Here is the part of the story I really want you to catch….

Rather than approaching the ‘Brown’ employee swiftly with a rapid-fire list of tasks that he should do for me, I chose a different path. I engaged him in conversation.

I began with a line, something like, “Looks like you must be in charge here.” His eyes lit up and we were immediately off to a good start. A few more sentences were exchanged and then he offered to help me with my humble little mailing. That point was the first I mentioned needing to mail this package AND that additional tape was needed to secure the package. (I was fully prepared to purchase a roll of packing tape and finish off the job on my own)

Here’s what happened next…

The ‘Brown’ employee said, “Since you are so genuine and pleasant I would love to finish taping that box for you and get it on its way.”

I don’t know about you, but I haven’t heard the word genuine much lately - made me feel good because I was merely just being “me”. I had no ulterior motive – I believe that it is a whole lot easier to be happy and pleasant than sad and disgruntled. In reply I blurted out…”Relationships First Business Second.” It seems more important than ever in today’s high-tech world, that we remember the relationship. The ‘Brown’ employee and I continued our conversation and I was introduced to the other ‘Brown’ employee as well. We laughed and joked around for at least another 5 minutes.

My wisdom for you today…

Whatever we are doing in life…building a business, raising a family, working our job, mailing a package…it is important to remember:

Relationships First Business Second

It seems that most solid businesses are successful because they made relationships a priority over everything else. Now it’s your turn. Go out and give away a smile, offer a hearty hello, and notice the person on the other side of the counter. That is a true win-win in life.

What's Your Story?

It was Monday afternoon, the day after Easter. A call to customer service to deal with a cell phone challenge, kept me on the line longer than anticipated – I miss two calls from my husband. Later when we did connect, he relayed some startling news – his uncle had just been killed in a car accident. That icy chill traveled quickly from the base of my neck, down my back and through the back of my legs. I found my way to the floor to sit in attempt to absorb the shock.


This was the uncle who was an entrepreneur, who preferred to call his own shots, who took pride in going after what he wanted and built a financially secure future for himself, his children and his grandchildren. He and his wife were never content sitting at home – they traveled the world and experienced many cultures and people. When he shook your hand, it was always a firm handshake and he looked you straight in the eye. An outsider would say, he “led the good life”. I would say, he was determined, decisive, hard working and believed in himself – he led by example.

Over the last 20 years, I saw this man only on occasion, but I looked forward to each encounter. My favorite thing to do, when in his presence, was to just sit quietly and listen to him tell stories. Boy, did he have some tales. Sometimes it was a funny story of some people they encountered on a cruise ship or a quirky question he was asked by a business client. Sometimes it was one of those pride-filled stories of time spent with a granddaughter. Yet other times, he spoke of the scenic wonders he experienced with his eyes while touring an exotic land. With a grin on my face, I wondered, if time permitted, could he continue entertaining forever?

Today the family is faced with the reality that there will be no more stories. Those precious stories were filled with golden nuggets of wisdom which the listener could gain an education. Those precious stories not only entertained me but opened my eyes to a new perspective – a bigger world. I cherish the moments I was afforded to spend with this man. Today, the thought that crushes my spirit is realizing that the opportunity to glean the golden nuggets of wisdom from the experiences of this man…are gone. Now I must face the fact that his wisdom will go to the grave with him.

This tragedy has given me a new perspective for the project I am working on. The Wisdom Project (http://www.thewisdomproject.info/) was birthed with the belief that each time one person shares their wisdom – another person is strengthened. One of the best ways to share that wisdom is to put our thoughts/ideas/experiences to paper and share them in book form to reach people across the world. That is just what The Wisdom Project has committed to do – collect your stories of wisdom and pass them on.

No one knows how many days they have left to live. Yet while we are here, we have the opportunity, if we choose, to take a few moments and write down some words of wisdom. How many days do you have left to share your wisdom – to pass it onto the next generation? I encourage you to take the time to write what wisdom means to you and submit it to yourstory@thewisdomproject.info so your legacy can carry on.

What's your story? 

Someone out there is waiting to hear it!

Moving Your Communication from Good to Great...

This week, I have found myself using the same phrase several times over. It goes something like this:

If you want to move from good to great…it’s the little things that will get you there.

Today while talking with a colleague about their website, I used this phrase. They made some really nice changes to their website and it looks good. I know this company well and know the message they want to communicate. When I noticed a few “little things” they could improve on, I asked if they would like to ramp things up and have a great website – because it’s the little things that will get them there.

Another area this phrase came into play was with the grade school speech team I coach. These are students in grades 5-8 who look to me to help them with some basic public speaking skills to gain poise and confidence. Not an easy thing to do. Quite frankly most people feel that public speaking is one of their greatest fears.

Experience has shown me that there is a group of students that bring some natural abilities to the table and have a determined attitude that propels them forward faster than others. This week, for those students just mentioned, I asked them if they would like to move from good to great. Of course everyone gave an enthusiastic ‘Yes’.

The question remains…How can we move our communication from Good to Great? Here are some “little things” for you to ponder on:

• Pausing for Effect – when a student is delivering a serious story or poem, a good pause has the ability to grab the attention of the audience and keep them interested. Sometimes we too have to pause, take a step back and find out what we really want (or how we want our website to look). Keep in mind that you may not always be able to recognize the process on your own – having a person who is outside the forest can give you new perspective. They can see the ‘little things’ that will help you communicate more effectively.
• Vocal Flexibility – An audience much prefers a speaker to have flexibility in their voice rather than a monotone nature. It is more pleasant to the ear and makes it easier to understand the information given. Again, in life, we can move from Good to Great communication when we learn to say things in a couple different ways until the message is understood.
• Timing – A speech team has minimums and maximums in regard to the clock. The goal is to have the student speak long enough to see what they have learned. However, being respectful of other people’s time and not misuse their platform by taking too long is just as important. When communicating, it is always good to remember that we have one mouth and two ears - Using them in that proportion works best.

We communicate with people constantly all day long. Since it is a skill that is used so frequently, I’m suggesting that we be aware of how well we communicate. The good news?

If you want to move from good to great…it’s the little things that will get you there.

What are some ‘little things’ that you have learned to improve communication?

 

Simple Things that make you Smile...

A former high school classmate, with just one blog post, has reminded me that life continues to go by quickly and we don’t usually take time to remember the things that make us happy. When I read his ‘personal inventory’ compilation of his simple pleasures, it inspired me to do the same. Although this list may be completely different than yours, I hope it motivates you to take some time and create your own list to reflect on and smile about. Here is mine:

• Walking into Starbucks on a Friday morning to find they still have a piece of Lemon Loaf left for you.

• Having a friend whom you have not spoken with for a long time, give you a phone call out of the blue. Even though the conversation only lasts for a few minutes, it’s the warm fuzzy you feel inside when you hear their voice.

• Feeling their elation when your child tells you about something thrilling that happened to them at school.

• Unending laughter when you are together as a family at the dinner table, over something rather random and corny, but still seems to strike a chord with at least 2 people at the table. You know…the kind that causes near hyperventilation and makes your eyes water?

• Knowing that your 16 year old thinks it’s cool to walk into Target on a Thursday night with both her and her mom wearing pink baseball hats.

• Enjoying family time at Disney World for days on end while being completely unplugged from the world…and not caring how many Emails, Texts, Tweets or Facebook messages you have missed.

• When your heart is hurting and a friend simply says, “I care about you.”

• Getting a snail mail Christmas card with a picture instead of just a card.

• The smell of freshly made popcorn…with extra butter.

• Having your spouse create a memorable tradition by preparing a lobster dinner at home for you on Valentine’s Day because it’s your Birthday…and watching the kids eat hot dogs.

• Being able to receive words of affirmation and appreciation from people because your writings have touched them in a special way.

Realizing that 75% of my list happened within 48 hours prior to writing about it, reminds me that happiness abounds all around. What are some simple things in life that make you smile? We’d love to hear them!

Defining Moments

Tonight my family and I attended a concert where a dear friend was performing. There were several very talented artists involved, but one in particular stood out. I might be a tad bit partial but nonetheless, the reason this singer/songwriter stood out to me was because he presented my youngest daughter with a precious gift. No, he didn’t share any diamonds or pearls with her, nor did he grant her a monetary gift. The present this man bestowed on her is so valuable it will last a lifetime. This complete stranger took the time to recognize an eleven year old child, look her in the eye and plant a seed in her heart with his words and message. He told her about a song he had just recorded called “Undefined”. With thoughtfulness in his eyes and passion in his heart, he told her that “Undefined” meant ‘having no definition’. He proceeded to declare that the world cannot ‘define’ who she is as a person. She is on a journey where she is defining who she is; she can define the undefined, reach for the unreachable, believe the unbelievable, and laugh at the impossible.

With tears in my eyes I stood in complete humbleness. What if everyone was willing to plant a seed of greatness in someone they have never met before? What if you and I took our eyes off ourselves long enough to reach out to a child and tell them they were special? What if we lifted one person each day with our words or message? Dare we ask what might happen?

Today’s world is in need of people, ordinary people like you and I, who are willing to define the undefined; People willing to reach out to the unreachable. People who believe that we CAN change the world…for the better…by planting one seed in one person each step of the way. Who is willing to Flip the Switch and redefine who they are by planting a seed?

If You're Happy and You Know It...

Today is the day of the week that is adored by most people...today is Friday. Back in the day, it was the day where I seemed to have the most energy because I was anticipating the occurrence of fun during the weekend. Yet today, several years later, my energy level is zero and the thought of going to sleep at 8pm sounds like a fantastic idea!

What did your week look like? Mine consisted of a doctor appointment, physical therapy, two separate car pool arrangements each day, leading a Bible Study, attending a Mom’s of Teens group, a conference call, parents night at school, Skyping with colleagues in Atlanta and Australia, cheering for one kid at two different volleyball games and driving the other to work, a tweet here and a tweet there, RSVPing to a child’s birthday party, reading a self-help book to learn and grow and writing a blog. It’s no wonder that I forgot it was picture day at school on Wednesday and had to run to the mall the night before and spend exactly 42 minutes finding a cute shirt only to fly back home with the kids for them to complete homework. Newsflash for everyone...I’m TIRED!

Now, I'm not complaining because this IS the life I chose. Things could be even more crazy if I had a 40 hour a week job in addition to the above items (God bless those of you who do!). There did seem to be a theme throughout my week. Let me explain....during my social media time, I read a blog from a woman who is implementing a 3-day a week 10pm bedtime for herself because she is not getting enough sleep and it is making her cranky. Then I read an article that said studies are showing that women are less happy today than they were in 1969 even though we are achieving more than ever thought possible.

Ladies! What is going on? Are we less happy? Are we more tired? Is our calendar too full? Are we working ourselves too much?

I really don’t know the answer to these questions, but I do believe that happiness is a choice. Some will agree with that and others won’t. Either way, I’d be interested to hear what YOU do to find/maintain some level of happiness in your life. Maybe if we each shared one or two things we could accumulate a list that could reach a generation of women! What if? Let me get your think tank started:

1. Surround yourself with favorite things – I have 6 brightly coloured plastic coasters with Mickey ears all over them that we just picked up at Disney World. They remind me of our great times and make me smile.
2. Set a timer while blogging – If there is a set time with no outside distractions then I can write more efficiently and effectively. The trick is to actually set aside the time. But when I do, I feel good about my accomplishment and smile when I lay my head on the pillow at night.

Okay…now it’s your turn. Send me your thoughts. Tell me what do YOU do to find/maintain a level of happiness in your life? Together, let’s see if we can ‘turn up’ the happiness meter in the crazy lives of women.

To Compliment or Not To Compliment...

An email came into my inbox today that caught my immediate attention. It was from an acquaintance that I have great respect for – Kevin Eickenberry at Remarkable Leadership. It seems that he is conducting a sort of ‘test’, if you will, on Twitter with regard to giving people authentic, genuine recognition more often.

I quickly thought back to two days prior of a discussion that occurred during a training session that my husband and I were conducting for a company in Ohio. During our training session, a participant shared that he feels that leading with a compliment while meeting a new person is a good idea. I in turn added that I have gotten into the habit of giving compliments to anyone I meet regardless if they are a stranger or friend. Many times when I am out ‘doing life’ and I see a girl with a cute haircut, a guy with attractive eye frames, or someone with an outfit that looks amazing on them…I will share my compliment with them. My theory is that the world is so caught up in their own day-to-day routine that we forget to notice others around us. If a compliment is deserved, it should be given (in my opinion). Someone on the other side of the room interjected because he was opposed to that idea. He felt that complimenting an individual immediately upon meeting, comes off as phony.

So here I am today, realizing that there are once again, two sides to each issue and wondering is there a happy middle? Although I understand that Kevin Eikenberry is speaking more of verbal recognition, giving a compliment seems to have the same uplifting power for a spirit.

What has been your experience? Possibly it is good for us to practice complimenting more often, but to be sure it is genuine and authentic. Maybe we can work a bit harder to craft a compliment in a genuine heartfelt manner. The middle may be the answer or maybe we can get a consensus from a twitter test. Either way, my belief is this: A compliment is about making the other person feel good, not about feeling good about ourselves.

I encourage you to go out and give a compliment today and see what happens. Together, we could possibly change the world.

C.P.R for Twenty Years of Marriage...

While reading some comments on a social media site the other day, I came across a response that caught my attention. When one woman stated that she had been married for twenty years, another woman told her to blog about this accomplishment because she would have a great deal of wisdom to share with others.

In September of 2009, my husband and I will also celebrate our twentieth wedding anniversary. I, like the woman above, really don’t consider myself to have great marital advice. Yet, while pondering the diverse array of responders that day, I realized that there are a couple of things that do keep my own marriage growing.

I’m full aware that not everyone reading this blog is married, but for those who are or may be contemplating marriage, here are the three main ingredients that breathe life into our union.

C = Communication:
“Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing.” (Rollo May) Communication is listed first because this is the number one thing that changed our marriage for the better. Years ago, my husband and I like many other new parents, struggled to ‘get along’ when our children were little. Everything was new, busy and (most of the time) off-center. Sleep was a precious commodity; Tempers flared because we were both tired and had no idea what the other was thinking or doing. We realized that we needed to make our marriage a priority by communicating. Today, this is accomplished by simply taking some time once in awhile to sit on the couch (after the kids are in bed) with a glass of wine and just share whatever comes to mind. I will offer my opinion here of the two most important points for both spouses during communication:

1) Remember you BOTH get a chance to talk.

2) The word LISTEN has the same letters as the word SILENT.

P = Planning:
“There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important thing.” (Brian Tracy) I have to admit, it took me some time to come up with a fitting word for the letter P. However, after reading Brian Tracy’s quote, it was easy. When a husband and wife are continually planning for their future together, they are looking forward with hope and faith. This essential ingredient takes effort and participation from both sides, but the rewards surpass all. This may include planning what their family may look like five or ten years down the road, where the couple will travel and explore or it may consist of setting financial goals. Whatever the plans, this action has a way of drawing a couple closer while raising anticipation and joy.

R = Romance:
“Treasure your relationships, not your possessions.” (Anthony J. D’Angelo) Of course one of the three main ingredients for a living, breathing marriage is romance. Life will always be filled with crazy schedules and circumstances beyond our control. The real test is to continue to place in front of you, all the reasons you chose marriage in the beginning. Keeping the romance alive starts with small steps…date nights, an evening walk or bike ride together, a picnic in the park…it doesn’t have to be extravagant or cost a lot. Last week, my husband picked up a couple of lobsters from the grocery store and we ate in instead of going out. There was no birthday or holiday; we just randomly decided to do a little something extra, just the two of us, since our kids were gone for the evening.

I certainly do not claim to be an expert in relationships. Nor will I tell you that marriage is easy. But what I can share with you is real examples that have worked for my marriage for almost twenty years; Communication, planning and romance are three essential components that have resuscitated our life with hope and happiness. How about you? Have you refreshed your C.P.R. skills lately?

The Power of Understanding...

During my last visit to the dentist, I found that my hygienist, whom I had been seeing for the last 2 years, had resigned from her position. Her second child had arrived and she chose to partake in all the wonderful rewards of being an at home mom. (As an at-home mom for 11years, I’m a little biased). The young, new replacement hygienist with perfect white teeth introduced herself as she walked me to the dental chair. As I sat back, she asked me three or four questions, swiped a glance at my last x-rays and began to power back the head of my chair all in an orderly fashion. Her lack of conversation made me wonder if she was unhappy about something. I hoped she was not having a bad day because I was about to open my mouth and who knows what could happen next.

Thankfully the new gal was rather gentle but still diligent with her task. At one point during the initial exam of my teeth, she removed her utensils. I used that moment to ask a question. Her response caught me off guard a bit. She answered with a yes because we “had enough time”. I looked around and did not see any stop watch or schedule posted to know if we were ahead or behind schedule, yet she seemed very ‘aware’ of the clock. Inside I felt awkward because I wasn’t sure if I had taken too much time or asked a dumb question. Basically, I wasn’t sure how to read her response and I was missing my bubbly, sociable hygienist that I had grown to adore.
The rest of the checkup went smoothly and I was on my way after having another A+ visit. All the way home, I was thinking about how different that checkup was compared to what I have experienced in the last 2 years. The only new variable was a new person.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks - My previous hygienist was a very outgoing, people oriented type of person, while the new hygienist was more reserved and quite task oriented. I did not do anything wrong nor was there any problems with the care I was given. What I failed to realize at the time, was that these two ladies were different personalities and viewed life through different lens!

Here’s what we know…theoretically the world can be divided into two. There are people who are people oriented and there are people who are more task oriented. Neither is right nor wrong, they are just different.

The first hygienist who cared for me was on the people side – she would always ask how I was doing, how my kids were, what our family was up to…things like that. To be honest, it took forever to get started with the checkup because she and I would chat and chat and chat. I too am an outgoing person and appreciate the people connection. On the other hand, the second hygienist saw the task ahead of her and most likely because she was new, wanted to do things “by the book” and make a good impression. She was focused on her assignment and getting done on time. Again, neither is right nor wrong, the approaches were just different.

All in all, I realized that if I would have thought more about the new hygienist given her personality and situation of being the new kid on the block, I could have helped ease any nerves and showed more interest in her…instead of expecting the reverse. Sometimes we all just need to be reminded that taking time to understand the other person can usually improve a relationship.

An interesting side note to this story…when I told my husband about the experience I had encountered at the dentist, his only comment was, “Sounds like I would like the new hygienist. After all, we go to the dentist to have our teeth cleaned, don’t we?” Ah…the power of understanding people!

Connecting Face-to-Face and Heart-to-Heart...

After months of not seeing each other, a good friend and I met recently for coffee. Our lives travel slightly different roads right now, but there remains a firm foundation in which our values, interests and families are similar. Because of the long absence, there were many updates for each of us to share. However, I was astonished to see that three hours disappeared in a flash. While driving home that afternoon alone with my thoughts in my minivan, I reflected on the special time I just had with my friend. My spirits were lifted, I felt calmer and more at peace. A new energy was present. I was refreshed and ready to get back to my life.

We seem to get so lost in our daily routine and before we know it, days, weeks and months have disappeared. Our first instinct is to throw out a quick email or text to ‘check-in’ with our friend…when deep inside, what we really desire is to laugh, share and connect face to face and heart to heart.

Now you are probably, thinking how can I fit it in? Have you seen my schedule? One thing that might help you get started making more connections, is to make an appointment. Schedule your connection time with your friends just like you would to see the doctor, dentist or go on a vacation. There are a couple of ways I plan my connection time. One group of my friends gets together the last Tuesday of every month. We call it Mom’s Night Out. Husbands and children are not allowed. There are times that some are not able to make it so they just plan for the next month. Additionally, my family knows in advance that I’m unavailable that night because it is on the calendar. Another friend and I meet on the 13th of the month, no matter what day of the week it is. Again, it’s on the calendar.

Putting a priority on maintaining relationship with your friends and family is just as vital as success in business place. A blend of the two areas can create a happier, healthier you. Believe me…YOU are worth it! Flip the Switch and reconnect with someone today.