The Wisdom of Love...

One of the strongest experiences you can have driving in your car, is the day you bring your new born child home from the hospital after giving birth.  The weight of the new responsibility sits firmly on your shoulders.  At each intersection of the drive, you offer one extra glance to the right and to the left before proceeding, giving care to accelerate as smoothly as possible.  The sky looks bluer than you’ve ever seen, the sun feels warmer than you’ve ever felt, the air smells fresher than you can remember and your heart is overflowing with joyful sensations.

It’s undeniable - THIS is LOVE.

The days, weeks and months pass while raising this child, offering a rainbow of emotions from anxiety to zeal.  Your patience is tested and you are asked to make decisions not for yourself but what is best for another.  Many times you awake in the middle of the night, shuffle to this child’s room and find peace within when you see them fast asleep.  The tears well up as you feel their innocence.

It’s undeniable – THIS is LOVE.

As the months fade into years you often find yourself looking back on the beautiful memories of this child that made you laugh and even the ones that made you cry.  The time passes quickly – each day seemingly faster than the one before.  You have poured your heart and soul and breath of life into this child only to wake up one day and realize it was YOU who was given life.

It’s undeniable – THIS is LOVE.

We are called not only to love the children but each and every individual around us.  It matters not if this assignment is easy or difficult – the stem hampered with thorns, still produces a captivating rose.  Isn’t it time we take our eyes off ourselves and truly “see” another? 

It’s undeniable – THIS is LOVE.

 

The Wisdom of Appreciation...

Appreciation:

The recognition of the quality, value, significance or magnitude of people and things

Recognition of the quality or value of things:

Many people picture a brilliant diamond when thinking of something of value. Recently, I met some wonderful people from South Africa who were enamored with my name. They were giddy when telling me of the world renowned Kimberley Mine in Kimberley, North Cape, South Africa and the Argyle Diamond Mine in Kimberley, in the far north-east of Western Australia. With their eyes, they expressed the value they held of these diamond mines. They conveyed a whole new appreciation for my name and shared such love when talking of my potential inside because I was given such a first name. How humbling that a new acquaintance could have that level of appreciation.

Recognition of the significance of people and their feelings:

Last weekend, we traveled a distance to gather for a family wedding. The joy of the occasion was not enough to overlook a fast moving virus which was attacking my youngest child. I had no choice but to go back to the hotel and give her rest. Her fever soared, her stomach pained and she collapsed in bed. She expelled every ounce of food from her frail body. In her weakness she relied fully on me to ‘make it all better’. I sat on the floor, stroking her hair waiting for her to fall asleep. The tears began to softly fall down her cheek; there was something she wanted to say. The words pierced my heart as would any mother who had spent the last 12 years in sheer devotion to her child who had overcome so much sickness. Her lips quivered as she said “Daddy promised to dance with me at the wedding dance.” I knew how much this meant to her and I too began to sob. So many emotions came forward – but the thing that overshadowed all the grief at that point was my appreciation for her sweet sensitive heart. How grateful I was to be learning from an innocent child: how to appreciate the significance of people.

What quality, value, significance or magnitude do you appreciate in people or things?

Today is a new day…may you find appreciation for everyone and everything around you.

 

15 Plus One - Another Day...

Today is a new day which gives us another reason to smile. If you are looking for something to help get the corners of your mouth to turn upward toward the sky, here are more little expressions to help you…15 new thoughts (plus my personal favorite) for another day. Remember, I did swipe these off my coffee cup, but they are still good. :-)


1) Be the first to enter and the last to leave the dance floor.

2) Indulge in chocolate therapy.

3) Plant lots of trees.

4) Spin the globe then pack your bags.

5) Dare to adventure.

6) Marshmallows have no nutritional value, and that’s ok.

7) Only look back if it makes you smile.

8) Step 1: Rake leaves – Step 2: Jump!

9) You’ll only be your current age once.

10) Dance in the rain.

11) Donate blood – you have plenty.

12) Sing out loud.

13) Spend time with your kids; tomorrow they’re a day older.

14) Have a favorite charity.

15) Be the first to apologize.
.

And PLUS ONE (my personal fav)…

Learn to say thank you in ten languages.

9 Seconds...That's All We Have...

9 seconds…that’s all we have. Just 9 seconds. I just finished reading a blog from Sally Hogshead ...the average attention span of people today is 9 seconds. That certainly explains a few things!

That explains why the little 4 year old girl in front of me in church was on the chair, off the chair, on the chair and off the chair again – her 9 seconds was over. It explains why my 12 year old daughter was frustrated because she could not focus on her homework anymore at 10 p.m. – her 9 seconds was over. And it explains why I have started and stopped writing this blog post three times – my 9 seconds expired.

Okay, all kidding aside, does that statistic startle anyone? Truthfully, if we think about all the technology that we have at our fingertips today, this statistic makes quite a bit of sense! We live in a microwave society. We want everything now…well…there ARE times when I actually would like somethings done so fast I wish it was done yesterday. (But that is another story) Admit it, we hate to wait. I have said many times, we no longer go find the news and happenings from around the world; they find us. With the internet, that can happen. You know what is really annoying, is when you are holding your laptop on your lap while eating a cracker and the crumbs fall on the mouse pad. That is really annoying…oh wait…where was I? I think my 9 seconds just expired.

See how quickly that can happen? Yes, that was a shameless example to make my point, but it actually did happen, so that is worth something, right?

So now you are asking, how can we change this statistic of a 9 second attention span? Might I suggest that we ask a different question? Since the task of increasing our attention span seems quite daunting, how about if we:

• understand that we live in the Information Age
• realize that technology keeps changing, growing and making us better
• recognize that the speed and efficiency of our media continually increases
• accept the fact that we have an attention span of 9 seconds
• stop fighting it and start working with the statistic

Some ways to work with our reality:

• Realize I may need to prep my kid before church to help her understand that she needs to ‘chill out’ for bit while in church and THEN get to release her energy by playing outside AFTER (or if all else fails, just suck it up as the parent for the time being because they will grow out of this stage)
• Know that my kid may need to do a little homework, take a break and play and then go back and do more homework later
• Accept that I may not finish writing my blog post all in one sitting – life sometimes intervenes and that is okay – especially if it is my family, because I know that I will eventually finish the post

As I leave you to ponder on these thoughts, I want to share a terrific quote I read on Michael Hyatt’s blog (the CEO to Thomas Nelson Publishing) from P. J. O’Rourke on how easy it is to get distracted when you are writing:

“Usually, writers will do anything to avoid writing. For instance, the previous sentence was written at one o’clock this afternoon. It is now a quarter to four. I have spent the past two hours and forty-five minutes sorting my neckties by width, looking up the word “paisley” in three dictionaries, attempting to find the town of that name on The New York Times Atlas of the World map of Scotland, sorting my reference books by width, trying to get the bookcase to stop wobbling by stuffing a matchbook cover under its corner, dialing the telephone number on the matchbook cover to see if I should take computer courses at night, looking at the computer ads in the newspaper and deciding to buy a computer because writing seems to be so difficult on my old Remington, reading an interesting article on sorghum farming in Uruguay that was in the newspaper next to the computer ads, cutting that and other interesting articles out of the newspaper, sorting—by width—all the interesting articles I’ve cut out of newspapers recently, fastening them neatly together with paper clips and making a very attractive paper clip necklace and bracelet set, which I will present to my girlfriend as soon as she comes home from the three-hour low-impact aerobic workout that I made her go to so I could have some time alone to write.”

9 seconds…that’s all we have. Just 9 seconds.

Happy Mother's Day moms...

MOTHERS

Real Mothers don't eat quiche;
They don't have time to make it.

Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils
Are probably in the sandbox.

Real Mothers often have sticky floors,
Filthy ovens and happy kids.

Real Mothers know that dried play dough
Doesn't come out of carpets.

Real Mothers don't want to know what
The vacuum just sucked up....

Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?'
And get their answer when a little voice says, 'Because I love you best..'

Real Mothers know that a child's growth
Is not measured by height or years or grade...

It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother........
 

Nine Tenths of Education...

"Nine tenths of education is encouragement." ~Anatole France


Dictionary.com states ENCOURAGE is “to inspire with hope or confidence; cheer; brighten”

How good does it feel when someone encourages you? Do you enjoy receiving a compliment? Have you ever gotten that warm fuzzy feeling inside when a friend sent you a cheery note via snail mail instead of a text or email? What about when someone did something nice that you did not expect?

Encouragement has the ability to breathe new life into ones soul. It can sustain hope. It can be a catalyst that pushes a person one step further. It seems that encouraging others can be as simple as lighting a candle and watching how powerfully a single flame can light a dark room.

This week my youngest daughter met her deadline and completed her school Science Fair project – something she had been working on for the last eight weeks. In preparation for the judging, she made some note cards to help her stay on track. The stresses of this event coupled with many nights of homework, sporting activities, singing performances and just an overall busy schedule, left my child over-tired…and it showed. The ‘melt down’ happened during the note card process…at the end of the day. A mental block occurred and it was quite evident.

From my perspective, the emotional outburst seemed to be over something rather trivial. It was at that moment that my own words of wisdom popped into my head:

You never know what someone is going through until you walk a mile in their shoes.

I’ve said this to my kids many times. Now the tables were turned. I do not have the same behavior patterns as my daughter, nor do I remember what it is like to be 12 years old, presenting a science project for three adult judges. The reality is I’m not walking in her shoes right now, so I really don’t know what is going through her head and heart. However, there is one thing that I CAN do:

ENCOURAGE

For this particular scenario, encouragement could be a smile, a hug, a cheery word or even a little note in her lunch box. How simple is that? And how powerful! Remember:

You never know what someone is going through until you walk a mile in their shoes.

Make today the day you chose to encourage. What kind of powerful results did you see?

What's On Your Life Plate?

Today while conversing with a friend, I asked her what was on her ‘Life Plate’. I actually have never used that term, nor have I heard anyone else use the reference. However, an immediate visual came to my mind. I pictured a large silver platter with hand carved swirled etch marks and grandiose edges which glistened in the light – something on which you would serve a fine meal to the people you love the most. On that platter, was each individual item that makes up my life – my spouse, children, friends, family, my home, volunteer work, house work, business and even my dreams and goals.

The reason for using that term ‘Life Plate’ has no explanation, but the visual certainly stays clear. There are days that my ‘Life Plate’ looks completely full and then someone will ask me to lead or facilitate their group, help out with this “short little project” or a family member finds themselves in the hospital. An immediate feeling of heaviness comes over me like a black cloud. Can anyone relate?

Have you asked any of these questions?

What do I do when my ‘Life Plate’ is completely full and things are leaning over the edge threatening to fall?

How can I possibly catch the falling items when I only have two hands?

Why am I continually asked to keep adding to my ‘Life Plate’ when I see no space available?

The overwhelmed feelings come when we fail to recognize what is on our ‘Life Plate’.

Might I suggest we look at things from a new perspective? Try these steps for more peace:

1-Take inventory – Specifically list each item on your ‘Plate’.

2- Rank the importance – Which items are most important to you personally? Of course I’m not willing to push my children off my plate (so to speak) so I can make room for watching my favorite weekly television show for example. It is of my opinion that my teenager needs me more now than when she was a toddler. The challenges she faces now are vital life lessons she is learning and seem to outweigh the importance of being able to tie a shoe or put a shirt on correctly. (But that’s a whole other blog)

3 -Celebrate the joy – Keep the items on your ‘Life Plate’ that bring you joy. What about the house work? Yes, put it in perspective…the joy is in being proud of a clean house. Order does produce peace. Just trust me on this one.

Where is your focus? Sometimes life does seem ‘full’. Realize if you continue to look at the lack of space you cannot relieve the darkness. I encourage you to place your focus on the amount of joy each item can bring to you. Go ahead – give it a try today. You’ll be glad you did.

Simple Things that make you Smile...

A former high school classmate, with just one blog post, has reminded me that life continues to go by quickly and we don’t usually take time to remember the things that make us happy. When I read his ‘personal inventory’ compilation of his simple pleasures, it inspired me to do the same. Although this list may be completely different than yours, I hope it motivates you to take some time and create your own list to reflect on and smile about. Here is mine:

• Walking into Starbucks on a Friday morning to find they still have a piece of Lemon Loaf left for you.

• Having a friend whom you have not spoken with for a long time, give you a phone call out of the blue. Even though the conversation only lasts for a few minutes, it’s the warm fuzzy you feel inside when you hear their voice.

• Feeling their elation when your child tells you about something thrilling that happened to them at school.

• Unending laughter when you are together as a family at the dinner table, over something rather random and corny, but still seems to strike a chord with at least 2 people at the table. You know…the kind that causes near hyperventilation and makes your eyes water?

• Knowing that your 16 year old thinks it’s cool to walk into Target on a Thursday night with both her and her mom wearing pink baseball hats.

• Enjoying family time at Disney World for days on end while being completely unplugged from the world…and not caring how many Emails, Texts, Tweets or Facebook messages you have missed.

• When your heart is hurting and a friend simply says, “I care about you.”

• Getting a snail mail Christmas card with a picture instead of just a card.

• The smell of freshly made popcorn…with extra butter.

• Having your spouse create a memorable tradition by preparing a lobster dinner at home for you on Valentine’s Day because it’s your Birthday…and watching the kids eat hot dogs.

• Being able to receive words of affirmation and appreciation from people because your writings have touched them in a special way.

Realizing that 75% of my list happened within 48 hours prior to writing about it, reminds me that happiness abounds all around. What are some simple things in life that make you smile? We’d love to hear them!

Defining Moments

Tonight my family and I attended a concert where a dear friend was performing. There were several very talented artists involved, but one in particular stood out. I might be a tad bit partial but nonetheless, the reason this singer/songwriter stood out to me was because he presented my youngest daughter with a precious gift. No, he didn’t share any diamonds or pearls with her, nor did he grant her a monetary gift. The present this man bestowed on her is so valuable it will last a lifetime. This complete stranger took the time to recognize an eleven year old child, look her in the eye and plant a seed in her heart with his words and message. He told her about a song he had just recorded called “Undefined”. With thoughtfulness in his eyes and passion in his heart, he told her that “Undefined” meant ‘having no definition’. He proceeded to declare that the world cannot ‘define’ who she is as a person. She is on a journey where she is defining who she is; she can define the undefined, reach for the unreachable, believe the unbelievable, and laugh at the impossible.

With tears in my eyes I stood in complete humbleness. What if everyone was willing to plant a seed of greatness in someone they have never met before? What if you and I took our eyes off ourselves long enough to reach out to a child and tell them they were special? What if we lifted one person each day with our words or message? Dare we ask what might happen?

Today’s world is in need of people, ordinary people like you and I, who are willing to define the undefined; People willing to reach out to the unreachable. People who believe that we CAN change the world…for the better…by planting one seed in one person each step of the way. Who is willing to Flip the Switch and redefine who they are by planting a seed?

A New Perspective on Calendar Management...

Imagine walking into a room feeling confident, poised and energized. Your dreams are big and your motivation is high. You have your goals set, the action plan in place, you have even hired a coach to help you stay on track and keep pace with your demanding schedule. You live in a nice home in a great part of town and have a wonderful spouse and kids. There is so much to be thankful for. The warmth of the sunshine on your arms and the pleasant breeze blowing against your face are all reminders that life is good.

Then you look at the calendar for the next week. It seems to be filled with numbered black squares bursting with a rainbow of colours denoting each doctor appointment, early morning conference call, and after-hours meet and greet along with the vast array of children’s sporting activities that overlap and require permission slips and transportation.

Sure, life is hectic. We get by on too little sleep, promising to catch up on weekends. But we never do. To remain healthy and stay confident, poised and energized means being good to yourself too. Since the calendar refuses to clear itself, how about taking a new perspective to carve out some ‘play time’ for you?

How can you spend your play time? If you’re rattling off sports activities, forget it. Those don’t count. If you have forgotten how to play, break out the bubbles, kites, colouring books and most of all your imagination! Make up a game with rocks or loose change. Get some sidewalk chalk, a croquet set and some jacks; If you feel silly…good! If you don’t want the neighbors talking, join in with some kids or play with the dog.

Did you know that play time is one of the most healing activities for your health? Cut free from the rules, worry and stress. Most importantly, abandon your adult fixations and get in touch with your inner child. There’s a kid in all of us, just waiting for play time.

The place to improve the world is first in one’s own heart and head and hands. ~Robert M. Pirsig