Where Is Your Measure?

The ultimate measure of man is not where he stands in moments of comfort & convenience but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
           ~Martin Luther King Jr.

How about you? Who are you and how do you respond during the good times? This is important. Who are you and how do you respond during the hard times? During the character building days? When the worst of times is staring you in the face? This is your measure.

The Wisdom of our Deepest Fear....

This widely acclaimed poem is actually not a poem at all, but an excerpt from A Return To Love, a book by motivational speaker and author Marianne Williamson. The passage has such inspirational power that it is now a stand-alone mantra for a generation of exceptional individuals who wish to motivate themselves and others to live up to their fullest potential.

Our Deepest Fear 

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

How about you... How has your biggest fear defined your self image?

What do you do when life throws dirt at you?

...Once there was a donkey that fell in a very large hole.  The farmer did not know what to do.  He simply decided the best thing was to bury the donkey.  He began to shovel dirt into the hole.  At first the donkey panicked – he was being buried alive!  How could the farmer do such a cruel thing to him?

The dirt was getting very heavy on the donkeys back so he shook the dirt off.  The farmer continued to shovel the dirt into the hole and the donkey shook it off – a shovel of dirt, a shake off by the donkey, another shovel, another shake.  Soon the dirt began to pile up under the donkeys feet.  He realized that each time he shook the dirt off his back, the mound beneath him got taller and if he chose to step up onto the mound, he got closer to the top of the hole.  The farmer shoveled the dirt, the donkey shook it off and stepped up…higher and higher the donkey went.  Shovel of dirt, shake it off, step up…shovel of dirt, shake it off, step up.  Shovel, shake, step up – shovel, shake, step up.  Finally the donkey was standing so tall he could walk freely and easily out of the very hole he feared would bury him alive.

Life can throw dirt at us.  We can feel buried by challenges and trials and feel like giving up.  But we can also use the dirt that is thrown at us, to build character and rise up.  Sooner or later dirt will be thrown at you, but what you do with it is up to you.  You can use it to build your future or cover your grave.

What do you do when life throws dirt at you?  Do you shake it off and step up on it?  Remember, with each step up, you are closer to the top.  Wisdom is the view from the hilltop with much dirt under your feet.

Shake it off and step up – Shake it off and step up – Shake it off and step up

What Lens Are You Looking Through??

Autumn is now in full swing and quite evident here in the Midwestern portion of the United States where I live.  A renovation of the landscape is occurring.  The leaves on the trees are changing from emerald to golden amber, burnt orange and fiery crimson and soon they will flutter to the ground when the brisk autumn breeze blows.  Whistles and cheers reverberate through the chilly air at the Friday night school football games and a crackling of the logs in the fire pit mesmerize all who stop to feel its warmth. As a rare exception, this year an over abundance of rain fell in our region recently. Thus, we uncharacteristically have areas of devastating flooding with some major roadways near the many lakes and rivers in our state.

Today I drove some friends to the airport and realized for the first time, the incredible amount of excess water pouring over the banks of a major nearby river.  It was shocking to see only the very tops of twenty and thirty foot trees waving above the rushing water, parks completely immersed no longer visible to the eye, and in one area…the water seemed to continue forever into the horizon.

My route home included crossing a hefty bridge.  That was the moment my eyes were opened to the devastation that will linger for citizens in our area for months to come.  The headline of every news program, for the last week and a half, included stories of the destruction and ruin.  However, this truly was the first time I had witnessed it with my own eyes.  The actual visual changed my perspective completely.  I have been so consumed with the flood of messages, activities and demands of my own small world; I failed to grasp the bigger picture of how people around me could be endangered and hurting from this natural disaster.

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes." ~Marcel Proust

What have your eyes been “seeing”?  What “lens” are you looking through?

A friend of mine told me about a miscommunication with a client. He rescheduled a meeting to another time...however the client did not receive the message for some reason. When my friend and his client did connect via mobile, they both agreed to still meet that evening.  Amidst the obstacles, the meeting ensued...the result? An incredible evening with much forward progress in life for both participants. 

Many times in such an event, we find people angry, hostile and bitter about the miscommunication because it inconvenienced them or interrupted their other plans.  We often look at the situation from our own lenses that have not been cleaned for quite some time. We have not taken note as to how many times our own finger prints have touched the lens - how many times we were thinking of our self and the inconvenience which was placed on our own life.

The wisdom I found is that these very finger prints obstruct us from visualizing a clear picture of the beautiful possibilities which could occur.

What have your eyes been “seeing”?  What “lens” are you looking through?

I recently met a lovely woman from London, Tina Andretta, who takes pleasure in devouring positive reading material to learn and grow.  Her most recent book seemed to create an eye-opening experience - almost like putting on a new set of lenses for the first time.  Tina shared, “New eyes are a result of renewed self belief and self image - Going back to the fact that we do not see with our eyes, but with our brains.  ...A few months ago I would have written this comment based on theory only, and now I'm talking from experience.  Since my belief system around who I am and what I'm capable of has changed, the whole world is taking on new form.  My life has totally changed in the last 2 months, and it's ABSOLUTELY because my self-image has DRAMATICALLY improved.”

Tina now sees new possibilities in the world – more beauty around her.  Possibly it is her positive reading material which has cleared her “life lens”. Her new vision is magnificent.

Now it is YOUR turn…
What have your eyes been “seeing”?  What “lens” are you looking through?  We look forward to hearing your experience.

The Wisdom in Flying...

In America, the month of September usually brings a bit cooler temperatures with the approach of autumn and children return to school after a long summer break. Many hearts begin to reflect and remember with the onset of the 11^th day of September.  As a nation we each remember that day back in 2001 in a different way – each person knows where they were and what they were doing when the tragedy occurred.

Today I spoke with a dear friend who is an airplane pilot. We talked of many changes in the airline industry. Of course not all these changes are the result of September 11^th ; the economy has played its role.  The fact remains that when we enter an airport, the scene has changed.

One thing I have decided to always pack when travelling is my patience.  Some very simple things help me be more patient when I need to fly:

• I arrive earlier than needed to the airport.
• I put a on a smile with EVERYONE I speak to.
• I chose not to react when the other people in line small, loud children or too many bags.
• I pick the shortest line in security, place my belongings on the conveyor belt and when the guy in front of me still beeps after walking through the sensor machine 6 times….I count to 10 and think about the beach.
• I try my best to be the MOST outgoing and pleasant person that airport employee has encountered all week.

Now It’s YOUR turn…

We want to hear your Wisdom. What do YOU pack when flying to a new destination to help your travel experience be amazing??

The Wisdom in the Road Construction of Life..

Living in the Midwest portion of the United States, we experience four unique seasons. They are commonly referred to as Winter, Winter, Winter and Road Construction. You know you are in the middle of Road Construction season when the interstate traffic is moving quickly and freely and then, without warning, you need to apply the brakes forcefully and come to a screeching halt.

Recently, as I drove across the city, twice I encountered big orange signs reading “Road Work Ahead” and “Detour” - I was already 15 minutes behind schedule – my heart sank. As I began to slow, I realized that the detour was not for the interstate I was driving. Instead, I shared in the pains of heavy traffic because I was driving on the road that was the rerouted destination for the detour folks. Then to add to the mess, just two miles ahead, road work was happening and three lanes of traffic were forced to merge down to two. All this activity forced road users to a snail’s pace. The road construction severely hindered my progress and there was nothing I could do about it.

I would imagine you also have found yourself, crawling along some stretch of highway moving ever so slowly because road work was near. Possibly you have felt the discouragement as you watched the minutes tick by on the clock and realized the situation was out of your control.

This experience illustrates an important life principle we can learn from. When road construction is encountered in your life, the best route is to:

Expect it, Accept it and Move through it to find the open highway.

The reality is that all of us have or will experience some type of road construction in our life. It could be some basic “Road Work Ahead” like when things get really busy at work and we need to put in some extra hours. Usually this “Road Work” is a temporary inconvenience. Other times the fast lane may be closed for a bit requiring us to “Merge”. Watch out for the “Merge” in life as it has a tendency to create indecisiveness – should I do this or should I do that. On occasion we encounter bigger surprises when we are required to take a “Detour” and reroute our course. When unforeseen “Detours” happen in life - they take us along unfamiliar territory. A new road can seem to go on forever and our faith is tested. We may experience thoughts of doubt because we can’t see how or when we will get back on the main road.

The challenge comes when we find ourselves in the construction season being forced deal with it. This is where the “Expect It – Accept It – Move Through It” principle comes in.

• Expect It – The reality is that our roads will deteriorate and need to have maintenance done on them. Just like you and I will find challenges along the way in our life. We just don’t know what the challenge will be or where the detour will take us.
• Accept It – Maintaining the right frame of mind during the road work of life has the potential to alleviate stress and make a tough situation seem easier. Maya Lin said, “To fly, we have to have resistance.”
• Move Through It – Remember Dory from the movie “Finding Nemo”? Does this sound familiar…”Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.” Our kids got the message, how about you? Once we move through the congestion, unfamiliar detour route, and bumpy roads we are sure to find open highway.

So until the next big orange construction sign pops up in your life, remember:

Expect it, Accept it and then Move Through it to find the open highway on the other side.

Nine Tenths of Education...

"Nine tenths of education is encouragement." ~Anatole France


Dictionary.com states ENCOURAGE is “to inspire with hope or confidence; cheer; brighten”

How good does it feel when someone encourages you? Do you enjoy receiving a compliment? Have you ever gotten that warm fuzzy feeling inside when a friend sent you a cheery note via snail mail instead of a text or email? What about when someone did something nice that you did not expect?

Encouragement has the ability to breathe new life into ones soul. It can sustain hope. It can be a catalyst that pushes a person one step further. It seems that encouraging others can be as simple as lighting a candle and watching how powerfully a single flame can light a dark room.

This week my youngest daughter met her deadline and completed her school Science Fair project – something she had been working on for the last eight weeks. In preparation for the judging, she made some note cards to help her stay on track. The stresses of this event coupled with many nights of homework, sporting activities, singing performances and just an overall busy schedule, left my child over-tired…and it showed. The ‘melt down’ happened during the note card process…at the end of the day. A mental block occurred and it was quite evident.

From my perspective, the emotional outburst seemed to be over something rather trivial. It was at that moment that my own words of wisdom popped into my head:

You never know what someone is going through until you walk a mile in their shoes.

I’ve said this to my kids many times. Now the tables were turned. I do not have the same behavior patterns as my daughter, nor do I remember what it is like to be 12 years old, presenting a science project for three adult judges. The reality is I’m not walking in her shoes right now, so I really don’t know what is going through her head and heart. However, there is one thing that I CAN do:

ENCOURAGE

For this particular scenario, encouragement could be a smile, a hug, a cheery word or even a little note in her lunch box. How simple is that? And how powerful! Remember:

You never know what someone is going through until you walk a mile in their shoes.

Make today the day you chose to encourage. What kind of powerful results did you see?

Simple Things that Make You Smile (Part II)...

Last November, one of my blogs (http://bit.ly/bHSK9U) challenged you to list some simple things in life that put a smile on your face. I gave several examples of my own to help others stimulate thoughts of happiness in their life.

As the month of March comes to a close, I recognize that it was a time filled with great emotions on both sides of the spectrum – from sheer elation and exhilaration all the way to hurt, fear and frustration with many other emotions in between. I’ve dealt with challenges out of my control, like my luggage taking a holiday across the United States while I spent a holiday in Australia. (I’ll write about that experience some day later) I’ve received news from dear friends about personal health challenges they were facing and others who watched their closest loved ones fight a hard fought battle. Most recently, our neighborhood learned of a pedophile living nearby who committed yet another offense. Finally, without fail, all I have to do is turn on the television and watch the news, if I want to listen to heated arguments where two opposing groups of people verbally bash each other because the hurt and fear inside has erupted.

With all that pain, hurt and sorrow, how can anyone find a reason to smile? In a moment of reflection, I immediately thought of a favorite saying:

“It’s not what happens to you, it’s what you do before it, during it and after it.”

Today I choose to dance in the rain. Today I choose to accept that this world is not perfect and free from hurt…and neither am I. Today I choose to find the things in life that make me smile, no matter how big or small they are. Today I encourage you to choose the same.

Take Charge of Your Happiness...

Sitting in a conference one day, I caught an alarming statistic:

Adults smile 15 times a day while
children smile 400 times a day.

What a stark contrast that is. We can come up with all kinds of reasons…or can I call them excuses…that adults would choose to smile less. Yet, if I am truthful with you, I would tell you that

No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

In thinking about how to help people take charge of their own happiness, I thought I would share a few simple but profound points from an email I received from a friend and colleague. I’ve added some personal observations as well. Forgive me if you have read this before, but for those of you that haven’t, I encourage you to take some time to ponder.

1) Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Those numbers don’t tell the real story.

2) Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3) Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop & dull living’. Experience new things...get out.

4) Enjoy the simple things. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful. Stop to smell the flowers. Get up to see the sun rise. Listen to a child giggle.

5) Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath...

6) The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive. Life isn’t fair but it’s still good.

7) Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8) Cherish your health. If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9) Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country if you must, but NOT to where the guilt is. No matter how you feel…get up, dress up and show up.

10) Tell the people you love that you love them…at every opportunity.

You’ve heard it said before…life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away. What’s keeping you from smiling more and taking charge of your happiness? Start today by embracing one of the above suggestions and see if you feel better. Take charge of your happiness. Let me see you smile!

It's Planting Time...

Last fall, many people saw the American economy ‘down for the count’. We heard terms like downturn, recession and slump. True, America was sick, but during challenging times, poor discipline and immaturity seem to be revealed. Maybe it’s time to get real and be honest. Try this on for size….the economy is not dwindling – it’s being transformed.

We were sick and now it’s time to fix the root of the problem. Forget the band-aid. Let’s pick up the pieces and put them together in a new way to form a new life. What this situation exposed was simply all the elements that were broken.

What would happen if we embraced the chaos? What if we buried the self doubt, the doom and gloom, the envy and the ‘woe is me’ attitude? Go ahead…pick up a shovel, dig a six foot hole and bury that stuff for good. The truth is, today is a great time for a new generation to rise up and find the strength to start planting – planting confidence, determination and belief.

Think about when the gardener plants a new seed. When that seed begins to sprout, the first thing that comes up is a little dirt - it is then and only then that the shoot begins to appear. Can you hang on long enough to brush away the initial dirt so you can celebrate the new healthy green sprouting growth? That kind of determination will be needed.

The germination period for each seed is different. Some seeds sprout right away but the plant is slow to grow. While others take excessive amounts of time to push through the earth, then their bloom comes quickly. Can you maintain your confidence even when there is no sight of growth?

Think about a farmer. When he plants corn in the spring, he knows without a shadow of a doubt that he will be harvesting corn (not wheat) in the fall. He maintained his belief throughout the entire growing season. Can you sustain your belief throughout growing season?

We’re not ‘down and out’; it’s time to Plant. Planting confidence, determination and belief today has the potential to create an abundant harvest tomorrow.

Choosing Your Battles...

Growing up I've heard the saying, "You have to choose your battles."  I've told other mothers the very same thing.  While this is great advice for parenting (especially when you have a teenager), some battles arrive with full armor ready to take charge that we did not choose.

My dear friend did not choose breast cancer and a brain aneurism...but she did choose to fight.

The battles that have chosen me this last month, I did not choose.  But I know in order to survive them, I have to fight.  And that I will do.

What battle has come to you?  Are you willing to fight?

The world is looking for a generation of people who will rise up when the battles of life get difficult....even scary.  It would be much easier to give in or give up all together.

Know that you are not alone.  Know that YOU can CHOOSE to be a warrior.  I will.  Will YOU?

** Kimberly recommends the book "Warrior Chicks" by Holly Wagner for further insight on this subject.

Perseverance with a Capital "P"...

I dare you to watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nifq3Ke2Q30
No, I’m not going to have you buy anything or send anything to your computer. Nor am I going to sway your political or religious beliefs. I dare you to watch this video (be sure to click the back button when you are done) and reflect on the emotion that it evokes inside of you. Go ahead…it only takes 2 ½ minutes. When you have that assignment done, then you are free to continue reading.

Ok. That was worth 2 ½ minutes of your time, wasn’t it?

That Olympic performance was perseverance with a capital “P”. Because of Derek Redmond’s sheer willpower and strength of mind, he completed that which he had started - The one thing that was his only focus for weeks prior. He persevered through extraordinary circumstances to accomplish his goal.

During the Olympics we see so many individuals stand the test of time and overcome great obstacles to earn the right to stand on a podium and watch the flag from their country raise while their national anthem is played. The thing that those athletes have in common is perseverance.

Perseverance is not only for the Olympic athlete. The woman diagnosed with breast cancer receiving chemotherapy and continuing to care for her children, has perseverance. The man who was laid off months ago and continues to seek employment after each rejection letter is received, has perseverance. The child who comes from the home where there is fighting and unhappiness, yet chooses to give their best during school has perseverance.

Perseverance comes in all shapes and sizes. What is your challenge? What are you pressing through right now? Are you in the beginning, end or somewhere in the middle? Have you had those days where you just don’t want to go on any more? Are you asking how to carry on?

A dear friend, whom I have great respect for, gave me this quote this week, “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass – it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” Derek Redmond didn’t wait for the pain to subside – he danced through the puddles in his way.

If you find yourself faced with a challenge and the road seems long and bumpy, look around you and see all the reasons to keep going. If nothing else…write these quotes upon your heart. They are sure to get you through the next hurdle:

Let your hook always be cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish. (Ovid)

Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn’t know that so it goes on flying anyway. (Mary Kay Ash)

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all. (Dale Carnegie)

In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins – not through strength but by perseverance. (H. Jackson Brown)

Success Principles Learned on the Golf Course...

The state of Minnesota is known for its many lakes. But this week all eyes are on Hazeltine National Golf Course in Chaska, Minnesota. Competitive golfers and fans of the sport are gathering for the 91st Professional Golfers Association (PGA) Championship. With the highest amount of golfers per capita of any state in the U.S., this prestigious and rather lengthy golf course has been swarming with spectators for the last three days of practice rounds with some of the biggest names in professional sports.

Since our home is less than eight miles from this event and thanks to a very generous brother-in-law, my husband and I were able to experience this rare occurrence first-hand today. After clearing security, we entered the venue with a drove of spectators, each with their own agenda. The hustle and bustle of excited viewers was more stimulating to experience than your average morning cup of coffee. We quickly decided to head to the back nine (that’s hole numbers 10-18 for you none golfers). Hole number 16 is a signature hole for this golf course. Everyone who follows golf in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area has heard of the ‘amazing 16th hole’ at Hazeltine.

After a gorgeous nature hike through tree-lined wooded paths and scurrying over manicured, lush greens we found our destination and took a seat. The grandstands were sparse; the nearest person was more than 10 feet away. I sat speechless in awe of the magnificent view before me. The temperature was still at a comfortable 75 degrees F and rising, the sun rays beat down on my fair Minnesota skin and a warm breeze blew softly across the lake. The majestic oak trees gently swayed and a vast array of wildlife took flight from the prairie grass. This was a perfect time to appreciate all of God’s creation.

By now, you might be asking what in the world does this have to do with success in life. Well, recently I heard this stunning piece of real estate being described by some golf professionals. They used words like intimidating and difficult with a potential for dramatic change. Yes, this 16th hole did look different than the other seventeen holes, but in a good way…to the spectator, not the player.

Seemingly, this peninsula taunts players and appears to play with their minds. Both the professional and the amateur become nervous when facing this test. Yet a headline in today’s newspaper read: PGA championships: ‘Sixteen is one the best holes in America’.

Okay, let’s get this straight…in golf, intimidating and difficult with a potential for dramatic change is desirable? In fact, it is. The golfers agree that these obstacles and stumbling blocks help the best become better. It challenges men of every skill level to dig deep and find the champion within.

For those of us who earn our living outside of professional sports, these same situations arise. Many times we can become intimidated with a challenge before us. We view the task ahead as difficult with a high potential for dramatic change. We become nervous when the obstruction appears. We hear the taunting in our head.

But the good news is that those hurdles and impediments are there to show us how strong we are. When was the last time you broke through a wall in your path? Did you remove the bricks one by one with a logical, systematic approach or did you hit it head on and break through with fire and gusto? Remember how great life was on the other side? You are a stronger, better, faster person today because of a once seemingly impossible barrier in front of you.

The next four days of the PGA Championship tournament are sure to be filled with thrills and upsets and in the end, a new 2009 champion will be crowned. Let’s watch and learn and grow with these golfers, knowing success comes to those who persevere.

Are Women Going 'Back to the Basics'?

There has been a great deal in the media lately about women being good leaders, strong in the business place, growing more and more confident and able to handle both work and family. Time magazine ran an article a few months back which agreed with many of these points. While waiting in the doctor’s office, I had a chance to glance at that editorial and found myself nodding in agreement, thinking ‘well of course that is true’.

In my own experience, the more I grew and accomplished as a woman, the more I wanted other women to experience the same rewarding satisfaction inside. For years, when asked what I do for a living, I have told people that I help women make a great first impression every time they walk through the door. Even though I have a tremendous amount of education and experience working with skin care, cosmetics, colour analysis and clothing personalities, I always point to some very basic things that we as women can do to grow into who we were created to be. See if you agree with any of these:

1. Attain a together appearance before walking out the door.
   Simple things like keeping a current haircut and eye glass frames, nails filed, good personal hygiene and dressing appropriately for the work place. Taking a few extra seconds to check in the mirror before heading out for the day allows us to take our eyes off of ourselves and go out to give to others.


2. Sustain a good attitude.
   Remember that not every day is going to go as planned, but sometimes one door closes so another can open up. People who carry a ‘woe is me’ attitude with them seem to repel others. Doesn’t it make more sense to be so upbeat that others move toward you and ask ‘what in the world are you so happy about?’


3. Maintain a favorable work ethic.
   Knowing that there is no such thing as a free lunch in life, implies that it is going to take some effort to achieve anything worthwhile. We’ve all heard that it’s the early bird that gets the worm. Many times persistence is just as important. Remember that when our hard work sometimes is not showing the fruit we would like to bear, it’s really important to implement point B) at this time while we are pressing on to our goals.

These are three very basic points that seem to be present in any successful woman that comes to my mind (and there are a lot of them). Maybe women have found a way to eradicate the excess and get down to the basics, finding that the nuts and bolts can strengthen the foundation. Maybe we are in the process of opening our eyes to what is really important to each of us. Whatever the reason, here is something we may all agree upon…the tallest of buildings is unable to stand unless a firm foundation is in place. So let’s use those basics in our favor and soar to new heights.

Real Life Fender Benders...

While running errands today, a song came on the radio that has a catchy little tune and quirky words that strike home with women. I started humming along the first time I heard it and now my daughter enjoys singing along as well. Its fun, relatable message goes something like this… “Got couple dents in my fender – got a couple rips in my jeans – trying to put the pieces together, but perfection is my enemy”. This song, “Free to Be Me” is sung by a girl named Francesca Battistelli.

I had to chuckle to myself today because my 16 year old put a dent in my husbands sedan earlier this month. She was driving with her father, and while parking at the mall, she happened to hit the gas pedal instead of the brake. The car popped up over the curb and knocked over the small ‘temporary parking’ sign on a metal post in front of her. My daughter and my husband each were startled but the moment of fear caused opposite reactions to the minor event - One being silence with a frozen look on her face, the other a verbal outburst.

Some time has passed and we now giggle when we see the sign, which has once again tilted toward the ground because of the unfortunate incident. When retelling the story, friends have asked how we can now make light of this incident…typically from mom’s who have children close to the age of 16.

Here’s what I learned that can help you:

1) Find a Practical Perspective
“When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about.” (Albert Einstein) In the overall scheme of things, this was a minor accident, but a good teaching moment. Truthfully, it gave both parties involved, a chance to learn and grow. One received education on what to do when denting dad’s car, the other was reminded not to sweat the small stuff because it’s all small stuff.
2) Have a Reasonable Expectation
“In the middle of every difficulty, lies opportunity.” (Albert Einstein) Expecting that our new driver will go through the learning curve perfectly is unrealistic. Understanding and accepting this while going through this trying time for both parent and child, allows us the freedom to become flexible. When there is room to breath, an opportunity exists for discovery, independence, wisdom and certainty to grow.
3) Say a Sensible Word
“Correction does much, but encouragement does more.” (Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe) Will there be more fender benders? Probably. Will there be more good driving experiences than bad? Yes. It seems that from all my past ‘dents’ and ‘rips’, it is better to encourage someone to pick themselves up one more time and try again, rather than let them know all that they have done wrong.

No one ever said life is easy. Many of us have to experience things a couple of times before realizing the lesson. When we keep our perspectives and expectations in check, while speaking encouragement, we are free to laugh and sing while we put the pieces together from our real life ‘rips’ and ‘dents’.

The Ultimate Gift of a Coach...

Thirteen days ago, I had arthroscopic knee surgery to remove a cyst that was growing out of the fibers on my Anterior Cruciate Ligament – more commonly referred to as the ACL. The surgery was a little different because the doctors decompressed this cyst rather than removing it and my ACL. RICE (Rest, Ice, Compression and Elevation) was my only task for nearly two weeks.

Yesterday it was back to TRIA Orthopaedic Center to remove the stitches. I was then sent directly to meet Monte, my physical therapist. After just two PT sessions with Monte, I’m pleased to announce that my knee is gaining much mobility, the fluid is decreasing and the pain is leaving. In fact, I feel that the knee is so much better that I have given my therapist the nickname, Miracle Monte. (Of course he laughed when I told him that.)

Today was my second appointment. While lying on the table receiving my well earned treat…use of the “Game Ready” ice machine, I had time to ponder about these brief, painful but helpful sessions I completed. Monte is my coach. He runs the game plan. When I perform at a mediocre level, he pushes me to do better. He believes I can do more and perform better with each session I work out with him. Monte has the road map; he knows my goals and is there to coach me through when I would prefer to give up.

Monte is a terrific coach because he has the ability to motivate while he trains. Because he continues to cheer me on and remind me of the progress I am making, I’m able to push through the tough times. He continues to raise the bar and asks me to reach higher, but never forgets to remind me of how far I have come.

The ability to encourage and inspire while guiding an individual to peak performance is a gift…the ultimate gift.

The folks at this orthopaedic center have a mission “Whatever your personal goals are, TRIA has the experts to work with you to help you achieve the highest level of function with the best outcome possible.” My goal of having a knee that functions properly is going to take much effort. Quite frankly, I would never be able to push myself to accomplish that goal, nor would I know how to do it on my own.

You may be a coach or you may be looking for a coach to guide you to a higher level of function with the best outcome possible. Wherever you are in life, remember the ultimate gift…encouraging and inspiring while leading.

Declaring Independence...

Independence Day - Fourth of July. Americans love their freedoms. Freedom to travel where they want, choose the home they live in, pick a career and a lifestyle. We even sing about the land of the free and the home of the brave. The Declaration of Independence embodies the values of Americans; the right of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

On this Independence Day 2009, I find myself reflecting on freedoms of all kinds as I lie on the couch recovering from knee surgery just two days prior. With a pillow under my affected leg and bandages covering the stitches, I’m forced to take things slowly. My family is ‘on call’ 24/7 because the ability to run up the steps quickly to get my glasses or scoot into the kitchen for a sandwich is quite difficult for me. Ironic isn’t it? That today, July 4th, is the day that America is celebrating our country’s freedom with family gatherings, cookouts and fireworks and here I sit completely DEpendent on others for help.

By in large, I am a person, who loves freedom. I prefer to be in control, to have the freedom to change my mind and to have a variety of choices for how to live my life. Independence and freedom are comfort zones for me. But today, I’m taking time to appreciate all that I have and the amazing potential that is before me.

This focus on freedom reminded me of something that Robert Kiyosaki’s wife Kim wrote in her book Rich Woman…“With every little victory you accomplish, your confidence increases. Increased confidence leads to higher self-esteem. Higher self-esteem leads to greater success, which ultimately leads to the greatest gift of all – freedom.”

The Declaration of Independence was a victory for America. In turn, this country gained confidence and esteem which ultimately led to our greatest gift of freedom. For you and me, each personal victory elevates certainty and value. The freedom we’ve gained from those events is something to appreciate.

What personal victories have you experienced? Today may be the time for you to reflect on the freedom and independence you have gained and declare your future potential.

Do You Have Double Vision?

I’ve heard it said…’If you do today what others won’t…you can live tomorrow like others can’t’. It makes complete sense. I know how I want my life to look tomorrow; I’ve played the video over and over in my mind for years. How hard could it possibly be? Just do a few important things each day and eventually my tomorrow will become a reality. There you have it; simple, right?

However, along the journey toward my blissful tomorrow, I have found one thing that seems to be extremely important yet most difficult to achieve. It is the act of self-discipline – training and controlling myself and my conduct to progress toward my goals and dreams.

Writing this blog holds a measure of self-discipline. I have a goal in place for posting new material, yet the calendar days flip by like a speeding race car. Today, I find myself caught between what I want to do and what I know I need to do. Obviously I have not yet mastered self-discipline, but it has become evident that self-discipline should occur first before my vision of tomorrow will become a reality. This develops into a ‘first this, then that’ type of scenario. A form of double vision - having one eye focused on today and the other eye focused on tomorrow.

Double vision for my teenager means in order for her to achieve her career goals tomorrow, she needs to focus on each class in school, which will add to, or subtract from, her GPA today.

Double vision in my role as mother, says that each and every time I stand firm while teaching values and obedience to my children today, I’m grooming them for a future tomorrow of significance and strength.

What are your eyes fixed on for today and tomorrow?

It will require self-discipline to keep one eye fixed on the important things which ought to be done today. There is an old saying that…’discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons’. If that is the case, might I suggest that we have the self-discipline to accomplish what is important today; so that we can be free tomorrow to live our destiny (without regret)!

Mountain Moving...

I just got off the phone with a Pastor friend of mine. Today’s topic of conversation was about moving the mountains in our life. No we didn’t speak about the gigantic obstacles of world hunger or economic turmoil. We talked of the everyday challenges that everyday people experience - the ones that pop up when your day is progressing in an effortless manner. Things like the annoying flat tire on your way to work, the torrential rainfall on the weekend of your family camping trip or the endless waiting period to get an answer on a job or home purchase.

Yesterday, a mountain presented itself in the middle of my preplanned agenda. After numerous visits to a variety of doctors, yesterday was the day that my ailing knee would be repaired. I was energized with the thought that I would find relief of pain after one year and get on with my life. Needless to say, this new doctor realized that the procedure we were about to do, was not the best course of action for my condition. Once again, MY plan was aborted and I was forced to switch gears. All the way home, I whined, complained and yelled at God. My pity party was complete when I grumbled with disgust that I always have to scratch and claw to get everything in life but for others, things come very easily.

Have you ever been walking down the street and see someone acting irrational? You say to yourself, “They are making such a fool of themselves”, only to look back on your own behavior and realize your foolishness just the prior day?

Yesterday I was completely convinced that I had a right to vent about my circumstance. Then today a dear friend, shares Mark 11:23 “Whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed…” and my foolishness became clear. I was trying to move the mountain on my own.

The truth is, there will always be a mountain, sometime big sometimes small. From experience, I know there also will be someone there to help you move it. It is natural to react in a foolish way when the mountain presents itself. However, it's much more helpful to listen to the people in your life that have been placed near you to help you through.

What is your mountain? Is it new or has it been there awhile? Do you have more than one? Trust that God has a plan and has put people in your life to help you get the mountain out of the way.