Can You Feel Better in One Minute???

Yes you can! It only takes one minute. Honest.

In this High-Tech microwave society, we want everything in an instant.  We want to build our business to a profitable level as fast as possible – we want to quickly contact our children with an urgent message – we want our fast food prepped in the drive through in no time at all. Feeling good can happen on the spot as well. The good news? You are in control! Woo Hoo!

If you are like me, you too would appreciate adding some very simple things to your life that are certain to help you feel better…in less than one minute.  Give one of these a try today.

In one minute you could…

BE GRATEFUL – Write in a gratitude journal 3 things you are most thankful for OR write a friend a thank you note.

RELAX – Close your eyes, breathe deeply and slowly three times.

CONNECT – Pick up the phone to call someone you haven’t seen in a while.

GAIN PERSPECTIVE – Look out the window toward the horizon and allow your mind to drift away.

THINK ABOUT YOU – List 3 things you like most about YOU.

Now it's YOUR turn....We value your wisdom. What would you add to this list??

The Wisdom of our Deepest Fear....

This widely acclaimed poem is actually not a poem at all, but an excerpt from A Return To Love, a book by motivational speaker and author Marianne Williamson. The passage has such inspirational power that it is now a stand-alone mantra for a generation of exceptional individuals who wish to motivate themselves and others to live up to their fullest potential.

Our Deepest Fear 

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

How about you... How has your biggest fear defined your self image?

What Lens Are You Looking Through??

Autumn is now in full swing and quite evident here in the Midwestern portion of the United States where I live.  A renovation of the landscape is occurring.  The leaves on the trees are changing from emerald to golden amber, burnt orange and fiery crimson and soon they will flutter to the ground when the brisk autumn breeze blows.  Whistles and cheers reverberate through the chilly air at the Friday night school football games and a crackling of the logs in the fire pit mesmerize all who stop to feel its warmth. As a rare exception, this year an over abundance of rain fell in our region recently. Thus, we uncharacteristically have areas of devastating flooding with some major roadways near the many lakes and rivers in our state.

Today I drove some friends to the airport and realized for the first time, the incredible amount of excess water pouring over the banks of a major nearby river.  It was shocking to see only the very tops of twenty and thirty foot trees waving above the rushing water, parks completely immersed no longer visible to the eye, and in one area…the water seemed to continue forever into the horizon.

My route home included crossing a hefty bridge.  That was the moment my eyes were opened to the devastation that will linger for citizens in our area for months to come.  The headline of every news program, for the last week and a half, included stories of the destruction and ruin.  However, this truly was the first time I had witnessed it with my own eyes.  The actual visual changed my perspective completely.  I have been so consumed with the flood of messages, activities and demands of my own small world; I failed to grasp the bigger picture of how people around me could be endangered and hurting from this natural disaster.

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes." ~Marcel Proust

What have your eyes been “seeing”?  What “lens” are you looking through?

A friend of mine told me about a miscommunication with a client. He rescheduled a meeting to another time...however the client did not receive the message for some reason. When my friend and his client did connect via mobile, they both agreed to still meet that evening.  Amidst the obstacles, the meeting ensued...the result? An incredible evening with much forward progress in life for both participants. 

Many times in such an event, we find people angry, hostile and bitter about the miscommunication because it inconvenienced them or interrupted their other plans.  We often look at the situation from our own lenses that have not been cleaned for quite some time. We have not taken note as to how many times our own finger prints have touched the lens - how many times we were thinking of our self and the inconvenience which was placed on our own life.

The wisdom I found is that these very finger prints obstruct us from visualizing a clear picture of the beautiful possibilities which could occur.

What have your eyes been “seeing”?  What “lens” are you looking through?

I recently met a lovely woman from London, Tina Andretta, who takes pleasure in devouring positive reading material to learn and grow.  Her most recent book seemed to create an eye-opening experience - almost like putting on a new set of lenses for the first time.  Tina shared, “New eyes are a result of renewed self belief and self image - Going back to the fact that we do not see with our eyes, but with our brains.  ...A few months ago I would have written this comment based on theory only, and now I'm talking from experience.  Since my belief system around who I am and what I'm capable of has changed, the whole world is taking on new form.  My life has totally changed in the last 2 months, and it's ABSOLUTELY because my self-image has DRAMATICALLY improved.”

Tina now sees new possibilities in the world – more beauty around her.  Possibly it is her positive reading material which has cleared her “life lens”. Her new vision is magnificent.

Now it is YOUR turn…
What have your eyes been “seeing”?  What “lens” are you looking through?  We look forward to hearing your experience.

The Wisdom in Living Life Out Loud...

Yesterday the question was asked, “Do you fear success or failure”?  In her blog, my amazing friend Carol Roth responded with, “Maybe you should fear mediocrity”. Just saying the word ‘mediocrity’ makes me cringe – always has and probably always will. There seems to be something about the way I was created that refuses to accept average.

Back in March of 2010, I began to walk down a whole new path when a business colleague and I gave birth to an idea called The Wisdom Project.  After spending a week in the amazing city of Sydney, Australia, I began collecting stories of Wisdom from women all around the globe for my first book.  With each new day, each new friend I made and each new story I received, a passion began to reveal itself inside me. Today I share this deep passion that is festering inside; it is the heartfelt desire to encourage and inspire people to “Take a step forward in life instead of a step backward…or worse yet…remain idle”.

Idleness – accepting average – living in mediocrity…not for me.  It pains me to type those words.  Life is too short to live in mediocrity.  Don't you think life is meant to be lived out loud, to the fullest?

I believe each person was born with a unique DNA. I believe it is time that each of us begin to embrace our own special DNA live life to the full. Of course that may look a little different to each person; Some will live life out loud with their hair on fire whilst skiing down a mountain at top speed.  Others will host a quaint dinner party with glitz and glam and make the headlines of a spectacular lifestyle magazine. Still others will find their true DNA by giving endless smiles and words of gratitude to every person in the airport to make people wonder if they really ARE up to something!

How about YOU?  How will you use your awesomely gorgeous DNA to live your life out loud and show other that life is too short to live in mediocrity???  Please share your thoughts - We can’t wait to hear YOUR ‘life out loud’ moments!

PS- Thanks Carol Roth for your inspiration and example of living life out loud!

PPS- Thanks Liz Strauss for the amazing Successful Online Blogger award! I value the amazing SOBCon family for how they challenge each other to be more and do more.  It’s an honor!

The Wisdom of Appreciation...

Appreciation:

The recognition of the quality, value, significance or magnitude of people and things

Recognition of the quality or value of things:

Many people picture a brilliant diamond when thinking of something of value. Recently, I met some wonderful people from South Africa who were enamored with my name. They were giddy when telling me of the world renowned Kimberley Mine in Kimberley, North Cape, South Africa and the Argyle Diamond Mine in Kimberley, in the far north-east of Western Australia. With their eyes, they expressed the value they held of these diamond mines. They conveyed a whole new appreciation for my name and shared such love when talking of my potential inside because I was given such a first name. How humbling that a new acquaintance could have that level of appreciation.

Recognition of the significance of people and their feelings:

Last weekend, we traveled a distance to gather for a family wedding. The joy of the occasion was not enough to overlook a fast moving virus which was attacking my youngest child. I had no choice but to go back to the hotel and give her rest. Her fever soared, her stomach pained and she collapsed in bed. She expelled every ounce of food from her frail body. In her weakness she relied fully on me to ‘make it all better’. I sat on the floor, stroking her hair waiting for her to fall asleep. The tears began to softly fall down her cheek; there was something she wanted to say. The words pierced my heart as would any mother who had spent the last 12 years in sheer devotion to her child who had overcome so much sickness. Her lips quivered as she said “Daddy promised to dance with me at the wedding dance.” I knew how much this meant to her and I too began to sob. So many emotions came forward – but the thing that overshadowed all the grief at that point was my appreciation for her sweet sensitive heart. How grateful I was to be learning from an innocent child: how to appreciate the significance of people.

What quality, value, significance or magnitude do you appreciate in people or things?

Today is a new day…may you find appreciation for everyone and everything around you.

 

What Are You Waiting For...

Do you know someone or have you met someone and thought to yourself ‘They have so much potential inside. They really could be doing more with their life.’ The great Nelson Mandela said, “There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living." The truth is, any one of us could look around and find that there are many people ‘playing small’.

In thinking about our inner potential, I will pose a question to you: What if each person decided to go after the one thing that burns them up inside; that one passion they have dreamed about all their life; that one thing that puts a smile on their face; that one thing above all things, which makes them feel free? Here’s my question for you:

What are you waiting for?

Are you waiting for the fear of failing to dissipate? Are you waiting for the insecurities to melt? Are you waiting for all the traffic lights to turn green? The amazing performance coach Kurek Ashley says: “When you work on and build your success muscles every day, you get stronger and more able to achieve your grandest of goals." Finding success in anything in life takes small consistent efforts each day - It’s an every day event.

Here are my personal words of wisdom for you today: I encourage you to take a bit of time to find what it is that you are using for an excuse to hold you back – then go after your passion despite that obstacle you see in your head. When you do, you will find that life has so much waiting for you. Do you realize that there are:

Planes to fly - Mountains to climb - Pictures to take - People to meet - Restaurants to enjoy - Water to sail - Books to write - Canvases to be painted - Cars to drive - Museums to experience - Sunsets to appreciate – Planes to jump out of – Friends to make – Languages to learn – Mountains to ski – Families to love – Children to raise – Music to sing – Dances to dance - Laughter to express and Joy to be felt.

It’s all out there. Find your inner potential...your passion.

What are you waiting for?

____________________________________
P.S. Here’s something new and a simple request from you.


If you like this post, or know someone who might benefit from the reading, please pass it along. You can easily do so via Twitter or Facebook - finding those links to the right.
If you use eMail, consider sending this to a friend.
If you agree, disagree, have something to say about this post, or simply would like to add to the list we began, please share a comment below.

15 PLUS ONE...

Some days the clouds may hide the sunshine or we have spent our day focused on computer, leaving us a bit disoriented, cross-eyed or weary.  Today I'm offering some short 'pick-me-up' phrases that can help you refocus. Okay- so I swiped them from my coffee cup, but they are still good. :)

15 PLUS ONE

~Expressions To Help You Smile~

1) Eat when you are hungry – nap when you are tired.

2) Make time for silly.

3) Make today special.

4) Laugh so hard you cry.

5) Follow your heart.

6) Smile first – ask questions later.

7) Dance to your own rhythm.

8) Continue more conversations offline.

9) Listen 1st - Talk 2nd.

10) Learn to dance a jig.

11) Start right now.

12) Thank a teacher.

13) Grow older without ever growing up.

14) Do it for love, not profit.

15) Compliment a stranger.

And PLUS ONE...

(my personal fav)

Be a hero minus the dorky cape.

Nine Tenths of Education...

"Nine tenths of education is encouragement." ~Anatole France


Dictionary.com states ENCOURAGE is “to inspire with hope or confidence; cheer; brighten”

How good does it feel when someone encourages you? Do you enjoy receiving a compliment? Have you ever gotten that warm fuzzy feeling inside when a friend sent you a cheery note via snail mail instead of a text or email? What about when someone did something nice that you did not expect?

Encouragement has the ability to breathe new life into ones soul. It can sustain hope. It can be a catalyst that pushes a person one step further. It seems that encouraging others can be as simple as lighting a candle and watching how powerfully a single flame can light a dark room.

This week my youngest daughter met her deadline and completed her school Science Fair project – something she had been working on for the last eight weeks. In preparation for the judging, she made some note cards to help her stay on track. The stresses of this event coupled with many nights of homework, sporting activities, singing performances and just an overall busy schedule, left my child over-tired…and it showed. The ‘melt down’ happened during the note card process…at the end of the day. A mental block occurred and it was quite evident.

From my perspective, the emotional outburst seemed to be over something rather trivial. It was at that moment that my own words of wisdom popped into my head:

You never know what someone is going through until you walk a mile in their shoes.

I’ve said this to my kids many times. Now the tables were turned. I do not have the same behavior patterns as my daughter, nor do I remember what it is like to be 12 years old, presenting a science project for three adult judges. The reality is I’m not walking in her shoes right now, so I really don’t know what is going through her head and heart. However, there is one thing that I CAN do:

ENCOURAGE

For this particular scenario, encouragement could be a smile, a hug, a cheery word or even a little note in her lunch box. How simple is that? And how powerful! Remember:

You never know what someone is going through until you walk a mile in their shoes.

Make today the day you chose to encourage. What kind of powerful results did you see?

What's Your Story?

It was Monday afternoon, the day after Easter. A call to customer service to deal with a cell phone challenge, kept me on the line longer than anticipated – I miss two calls from my husband. Later when we did connect, he relayed some startling news – his uncle had just been killed in a car accident. That icy chill traveled quickly from the base of my neck, down my back and through the back of my legs. I found my way to the floor to sit in attempt to absorb the shock.


This was the uncle who was an entrepreneur, who preferred to call his own shots, who took pride in going after what he wanted and built a financially secure future for himself, his children and his grandchildren. He and his wife were never content sitting at home – they traveled the world and experienced many cultures and people. When he shook your hand, it was always a firm handshake and he looked you straight in the eye. An outsider would say, he “led the good life”. I would say, he was determined, decisive, hard working and believed in himself – he led by example.

Over the last 20 years, I saw this man only on occasion, but I looked forward to each encounter. My favorite thing to do, when in his presence, was to just sit quietly and listen to him tell stories. Boy, did he have some tales. Sometimes it was a funny story of some people they encountered on a cruise ship or a quirky question he was asked by a business client. Sometimes it was one of those pride-filled stories of time spent with a granddaughter. Yet other times, he spoke of the scenic wonders he experienced with his eyes while touring an exotic land. With a grin on my face, I wondered, if time permitted, could he continue entertaining forever?

Today the family is faced with the reality that there will be no more stories. Those precious stories were filled with golden nuggets of wisdom which the listener could gain an education. Those precious stories not only entertained me but opened my eyes to a new perspective – a bigger world. I cherish the moments I was afforded to spend with this man. Today, the thought that crushes my spirit is realizing that the opportunity to glean the golden nuggets of wisdom from the experiences of this man…are gone. Now I must face the fact that his wisdom will go to the grave with him.

This tragedy has given me a new perspective for the project I am working on. The Wisdom Project (http://www.thewisdomproject.info/) was birthed with the belief that each time one person shares their wisdom – another person is strengthened. One of the best ways to share that wisdom is to put our thoughts/ideas/experiences to paper and share them in book form to reach people across the world. That is just what The Wisdom Project has committed to do – collect your stories of wisdom and pass them on.

No one knows how many days they have left to live. Yet while we are here, we have the opportunity, if we choose, to take a few moments and write down some words of wisdom. How many days do you have left to share your wisdom – to pass it onto the next generation? I encourage you to take the time to write what wisdom means to you and submit it to yourstory@thewisdomproject.info so your legacy can carry on.

What's your story? 

Someone out there is waiting to hear it!

What Are YOU Looking At?

Some may interpret an amount of bitterness in that question. However, there IS another way to read that question. My intention was merely to find out what you are looking at - what are you focused on? Where is your energy and thoughts pointed today?


Many years ago, a well respected mentor taught me a lesson on focus that has left a profound impact on my life. After all these years, her words ring in my head again today. She said:

What you focus on will expand.

Simple statement, wouldn’t you agree? When thinking of real life examples of focal points, the message can paint a vibrant mental picture. Think on this:

   • If you focus on food – your waistline can expand.
   • If you focus on exercise – your health can improve.
   • If you focus on your homework – your grades can get better.
   • If you focus on skipping school – your detention can increase.
   • If you focus on ways to bring your family together – your relationships can be enriched.
   • If you focus on your communication skills – you can become more confident

My challenge to you today is to find what you want to expand in your life. Are you focused on the right area? If we continue to focus on the caterpillar, we could easily be blinded by the overwhelming vision of death, loss and ending. But if we are focused on looking for the beautiful new fluttering butterfly on its way, we fill our mind with life, victory and a new sense of beginning. What are YOU looking at?

What you focus on will expand.

What's On Your Life Plate?

Today while conversing with a friend, I asked her what was on her ‘Life Plate’. I actually have never used that term, nor have I heard anyone else use the reference. However, an immediate visual came to my mind. I pictured a large silver platter with hand carved swirled etch marks and grandiose edges which glistened in the light – something on which you would serve a fine meal to the people you love the most. On that platter, was each individual item that makes up my life – my spouse, children, friends, family, my home, volunteer work, house work, business and even my dreams and goals.

The reason for using that term ‘Life Plate’ has no explanation, but the visual certainly stays clear. There are days that my ‘Life Plate’ looks completely full and then someone will ask me to lead or facilitate their group, help out with this “short little project” or a family member finds themselves in the hospital. An immediate feeling of heaviness comes over me like a black cloud. Can anyone relate?

Have you asked any of these questions?

What do I do when my ‘Life Plate’ is completely full and things are leaning over the edge threatening to fall?

How can I possibly catch the falling items when I only have two hands?

Why am I continually asked to keep adding to my ‘Life Plate’ when I see no space available?

The overwhelmed feelings come when we fail to recognize what is on our ‘Life Plate’.

Might I suggest we look at things from a new perspective? Try these steps for more peace:

1-Take inventory – Specifically list each item on your ‘Plate’.

2- Rank the importance – Which items are most important to you personally? Of course I’m not willing to push my children off my plate (so to speak) so I can make room for watching my favorite weekly television show for example. It is of my opinion that my teenager needs me more now than when she was a toddler. The challenges she faces now are vital life lessons she is learning and seem to outweigh the importance of being able to tie a shoe or put a shirt on correctly. (But that’s a whole other blog)

3 -Celebrate the joy – Keep the items on your ‘Life Plate’ that bring you joy. What about the house work? Yes, put it in perspective…the joy is in being proud of a clean house. Order does produce peace. Just trust me on this one.

Where is your focus? Sometimes life does seem ‘full’. Realize if you continue to look at the lack of space you cannot relieve the darkness. I encourage you to place your focus on the amount of joy each item can bring to you. Go ahead – give it a try today. You’ll be glad you did.

How to Help the World, One Person at a Time...

A few years ago, there was a day that my oldest daughter needed a ride to an event. On the way, she asked if we could stop to get a sandwich so we pulled into a nearby sandwich shop. I followed my daughter in because someone had to pay the bill and of course teenagers never have any money! Once the sandwich was made very young, dark haired girl moved gently to the cash register. Her methodical quiet pace revealed her to have a slightly reserved personality. Without making eye contact, she gave me the total cost in a slight whisper. I in turn, fumbled for my pink wallet amongst the vast array of crinkled receipts in my purse. (Where do they all come from?) As I looked up into the youthful employees face, I noticed that she was wearing adorable eye glass frames which complimented her personal beauty. Without hesitation, I blurted out, “Wow. You have really great eye glass frames. I love how they look on you. They are a perfect fit for your face.”

What happened next is the part of the story I really want you to catch. This reserved, bashful girl raised her torso, lifted her chin, and got a big smile across her face. She looked me straight in the eye and said, “Thank you!”

My daughter and I left the sandwich shop and drove off to her event. Yet, I just could not release from my mind, the vision of that young girls reaction back at the store. All I did was share an honest, heartfelt compliment. Yet it seemed to turn her world around. By watching her body language, it was as if her self-confidence increased. The quick compliment sure made her smile. All I could think about was the amazing transformation that happened to an individual, just because I chose to give a compliment.

Since that time, I’ve often wondered, why don’t people give more compliments?

Here are three reasons I came up with – see if you agree.

1) Possibly it is a TIME issue. After all, we are busy people. You and I are time pressed. We live in a microwave society where we like things to happen instantaneously. Yep, that’s it. People probably don’t give more compliments because it takes too much time. Well, the compliment I gave to the employee must have taken me about 20 seconds – maybe less. If you and I talked about it, I bet we would agree that giving a compliment and making someone feel great actually doesn’t take much time at all. It is something we all can do while we are ‘doing’ life. So if it is not a time issue that people don’t give more compliments, what is it?

2) Maybe it’s FINANCIAL - People are constantly talking about their shortage of money, fuel prices, foreclosures on homes, and the overall mess that the economy is in. Maybe people don’t give more compliments because it costs too much money. Let’s think about it for a second. How much did it cost me to say a few nice words to this young girl? I think we can all concur that this compliment withdrew nothing from my wallet. The sandwich still was the same price. So if it is not because of finances that people don’t compliment more, what is it?

3) This time I think I’ve got it. It must be EFFORT. Sure, there it is; it takes too much effort for us to compliment someone else. Well, I don’t know. Maybe it wasn’t all that hard. I can tell you one thing, I was NOT in the parking lot outside of that sandwich shop giving myself a pep talk and doing cardio vascular exercises in preparation for a big event inside the restaurant. No way. My teenage daughter would have disowned me as her mom! Truth is, it took zero effort on my part to pass along a deserving compliment that day.

So if it takes very little time, no money and the smallest of effort, why don’t people give more compliments?

Might I offer a suggestion? Could it possibly be that we are so caught up in ourselves and our daily happenings, that we are forgetting to look at who is across the counter from us? Maybe?

Helen Keller was such an incredible person, overcoming huge challenges in her lifetime. She said, “To the world you may be just one. But to one, you may be the world.” Now go back and read that again. Chances are that you thought of a very special person that did or said something to you that changed your world. Remember how it elevated you? Remember how gushy you felt inside? Did you smile or was a full-fledged beam from ear to ear? How else did it impact you? Is that a feeling that should be felt by more people?

I encourage you to pay that feeling forward to someone else. What better season to say something nice to another. Just think what would happen if you and I started a complimenting revolution? We could together make an impact that would reverberate across the land. How awesome it would be to see a changed world. Go ahead start today. What are you waiting for? Go out and make a difference in this world – give a compliment.

It's Planting Time...

Last fall, many people saw the American economy ‘down for the count’. We heard terms like downturn, recession and slump. True, America was sick, but during challenging times, poor discipline and immaturity seem to be revealed. Maybe it’s time to get real and be honest. Try this on for size….the economy is not dwindling – it’s being transformed.

We were sick and now it’s time to fix the root of the problem. Forget the band-aid. Let’s pick up the pieces and put them together in a new way to form a new life. What this situation exposed was simply all the elements that were broken.

What would happen if we embraced the chaos? What if we buried the self doubt, the doom and gloom, the envy and the ‘woe is me’ attitude? Go ahead…pick up a shovel, dig a six foot hole and bury that stuff for good. The truth is, today is a great time for a new generation to rise up and find the strength to start planting – planting confidence, determination and belief.

Think about when the gardener plants a new seed. When that seed begins to sprout, the first thing that comes up is a little dirt - it is then and only then that the shoot begins to appear. Can you hang on long enough to brush away the initial dirt so you can celebrate the new healthy green sprouting growth? That kind of determination will be needed.

The germination period for each seed is different. Some seeds sprout right away but the plant is slow to grow. While others take excessive amounts of time to push through the earth, then their bloom comes quickly. Can you maintain your confidence even when there is no sight of growth?

Think about a farmer. When he plants corn in the spring, he knows without a shadow of a doubt that he will be harvesting corn (not wheat) in the fall. He maintained his belief throughout the entire growing season. Can you sustain your belief throughout growing season?

We’re not ‘down and out’; it’s time to Plant. Planting confidence, determination and belief today has the potential to create an abundant harvest tomorrow.

To Compliment or Not To Compliment...

An email came into my inbox today that caught my immediate attention. It was from an acquaintance that I have great respect for – Kevin Eickenberry at Remarkable Leadership. It seems that he is conducting a sort of ‘test’, if you will, on Twitter with regard to giving people authentic, genuine recognition more often.

I quickly thought back to two days prior of a discussion that occurred during a training session that my husband and I were conducting for a company in Ohio. During our training session, a participant shared that he feels that leading with a compliment while meeting a new person is a good idea. I in turn added that I have gotten into the habit of giving compliments to anyone I meet regardless if they are a stranger or friend. Many times when I am out ‘doing life’ and I see a girl with a cute haircut, a guy with attractive eye frames, or someone with an outfit that looks amazing on them…I will share my compliment with them. My theory is that the world is so caught up in their own day-to-day routine that we forget to notice others around us. If a compliment is deserved, it should be given (in my opinion). Someone on the other side of the room interjected because he was opposed to that idea. He felt that complimenting an individual immediately upon meeting, comes off as phony.

So here I am today, realizing that there are once again, two sides to each issue and wondering is there a happy middle? Although I understand that Kevin Eikenberry is speaking more of verbal recognition, giving a compliment seems to have the same uplifting power for a spirit.

What has been your experience? Possibly it is good for us to practice complimenting more often, but to be sure it is genuine and authentic. Maybe we can work a bit harder to craft a compliment in a genuine heartfelt manner. The middle may be the answer or maybe we can get a consensus from a twitter test. Either way, my belief is this: A compliment is about making the other person feel good, not about feeling good about ourselves.

I encourage you to go out and give a compliment today and see what happens. Together, we could possibly change the world.

Are Women Going 'Back to the Basics'?

There has been a great deal in the media lately about women being good leaders, strong in the business place, growing more and more confident and able to handle both work and family. Time magazine ran an article a few months back which agreed with many of these points. While waiting in the doctor’s office, I had a chance to glance at that editorial and found myself nodding in agreement, thinking ‘well of course that is true’.

In my own experience, the more I grew and accomplished as a woman, the more I wanted other women to experience the same rewarding satisfaction inside. For years, when asked what I do for a living, I have told people that I help women make a great first impression every time they walk through the door. Even though I have a tremendous amount of education and experience working with skin care, cosmetics, colour analysis and clothing personalities, I always point to some very basic things that we as women can do to grow into who we were created to be. See if you agree with any of these:

1. Attain a together appearance before walking out the door.
   Simple things like keeping a current haircut and eye glass frames, nails filed, good personal hygiene and dressing appropriately for the work place. Taking a few extra seconds to check in the mirror before heading out for the day allows us to take our eyes off of ourselves and go out to give to others.


2. Sustain a good attitude.
   Remember that not every day is going to go as planned, but sometimes one door closes so another can open up. People who carry a ‘woe is me’ attitude with them seem to repel others. Doesn’t it make more sense to be so upbeat that others move toward you and ask ‘what in the world are you so happy about?’


3. Maintain a favorable work ethic.
   Knowing that there is no such thing as a free lunch in life, implies that it is going to take some effort to achieve anything worthwhile. We’ve all heard that it’s the early bird that gets the worm. Many times persistence is just as important. Remember that when our hard work sometimes is not showing the fruit we would like to bear, it’s really important to implement point B) at this time while we are pressing on to our goals.

These are three very basic points that seem to be present in any successful woman that comes to my mind (and there are a lot of them). Maybe women have found a way to eradicate the excess and get down to the basics, finding that the nuts and bolts can strengthen the foundation. Maybe we are in the process of opening our eyes to what is really important to each of us. Whatever the reason, here is something we may all agree upon…the tallest of buildings is unable to stand unless a firm foundation is in place. So let’s use those basics in our favor and soar to new heights.

C.P.R for Twenty Years of Marriage...

While reading some comments on a social media site the other day, I came across a response that caught my attention. When one woman stated that she had been married for twenty years, another woman told her to blog about this accomplishment because she would have a great deal of wisdom to share with others.

In September of 2009, my husband and I will also celebrate our twentieth wedding anniversary. I, like the woman above, really don’t consider myself to have great marital advice. Yet, while pondering the diverse array of responders that day, I realized that there are a couple of things that do keep my own marriage growing.

I’m full aware that not everyone reading this blog is married, but for those who are or may be contemplating marriage, here are the three main ingredients that breathe life into our union.

C = Communication:
“Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing.” (Rollo May) Communication is listed first because this is the number one thing that changed our marriage for the better. Years ago, my husband and I like many other new parents, struggled to ‘get along’ when our children were little. Everything was new, busy and (most of the time) off-center. Sleep was a precious commodity; Tempers flared because we were both tired and had no idea what the other was thinking or doing. We realized that we needed to make our marriage a priority by communicating. Today, this is accomplished by simply taking some time once in awhile to sit on the couch (after the kids are in bed) with a glass of wine and just share whatever comes to mind. I will offer my opinion here of the two most important points for both spouses during communication:

1) Remember you BOTH get a chance to talk.

2) The word LISTEN has the same letters as the word SILENT.

P = Planning:
“There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important thing.” (Brian Tracy) I have to admit, it took me some time to come up with a fitting word for the letter P. However, after reading Brian Tracy’s quote, it was easy. When a husband and wife are continually planning for their future together, they are looking forward with hope and faith. This essential ingredient takes effort and participation from both sides, but the rewards surpass all. This may include planning what their family may look like five or ten years down the road, where the couple will travel and explore or it may consist of setting financial goals. Whatever the plans, this action has a way of drawing a couple closer while raising anticipation and joy.

R = Romance:
“Treasure your relationships, not your possessions.” (Anthony J. D’Angelo) Of course one of the three main ingredients for a living, breathing marriage is romance. Life will always be filled with crazy schedules and circumstances beyond our control. The real test is to continue to place in front of you, all the reasons you chose marriage in the beginning. Keeping the romance alive starts with small steps…date nights, an evening walk or bike ride together, a picnic in the park…it doesn’t have to be extravagant or cost a lot. Last week, my husband picked up a couple of lobsters from the grocery store and we ate in instead of going out. There was no birthday or holiday; we just randomly decided to do a little something extra, just the two of us, since our kids were gone for the evening.

I certainly do not claim to be an expert in relationships. Nor will I tell you that marriage is easy. But what I can share with you is real examples that have worked for my marriage for almost twenty years; Communication, planning and romance are three essential components that have resuscitated our life with hope and happiness. How about you? Have you refreshed your C.P.R. skills lately?

Real Life Fender Benders...

While running errands today, a song came on the radio that has a catchy little tune and quirky words that strike home with women. I started humming along the first time I heard it and now my daughter enjoys singing along as well. Its fun, relatable message goes something like this… “Got couple dents in my fender – got a couple rips in my jeans – trying to put the pieces together, but perfection is my enemy”. This song, “Free to Be Me” is sung by a girl named Francesca Battistelli.

I had to chuckle to myself today because my 16 year old put a dent in my husbands sedan earlier this month. She was driving with her father, and while parking at the mall, she happened to hit the gas pedal instead of the brake. The car popped up over the curb and knocked over the small ‘temporary parking’ sign on a metal post in front of her. My daughter and my husband each were startled but the moment of fear caused opposite reactions to the minor event - One being silence with a frozen look on her face, the other a verbal outburst.

Some time has passed and we now giggle when we see the sign, which has once again tilted toward the ground because of the unfortunate incident. When retelling the story, friends have asked how we can now make light of this incident…typically from mom’s who have children close to the age of 16.

Here’s what I learned that can help you:

1) Find a Practical Perspective
“When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about.” (Albert Einstein) In the overall scheme of things, this was a minor accident, but a good teaching moment. Truthfully, it gave both parties involved, a chance to learn and grow. One received education on what to do when denting dad’s car, the other was reminded not to sweat the small stuff because it’s all small stuff.
2) Have a Reasonable Expectation
“In the middle of every difficulty, lies opportunity.” (Albert Einstein) Expecting that our new driver will go through the learning curve perfectly is unrealistic. Understanding and accepting this while going through this trying time for both parent and child, allows us the freedom to become flexible. When there is room to breath, an opportunity exists for discovery, independence, wisdom and certainty to grow.
3) Say a Sensible Word
“Correction does much, but encouragement does more.” (Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe) Will there be more fender benders? Probably. Will there be more good driving experiences than bad? Yes. It seems that from all my past ‘dents’ and ‘rips’, it is better to encourage someone to pick themselves up one more time and try again, rather than let them know all that they have done wrong.

No one ever said life is easy. Many of us have to experience things a couple of times before realizing the lesson. When we keep our perspectives and expectations in check, while speaking encouragement, we are free to laugh and sing while we put the pieces together from our real life ‘rips’ and ‘dents’.

The Ultimate Gift of a Coach...

Thirteen days ago, I had arthroscopic knee surgery to remove a cyst that was growing out of the fibers on my Anterior Cruciate Ligament – more commonly referred to as the ACL. The surgery was a little different because the doctors decompressed this cyst rather than removing it and my ACL. RICE (Rest, Ice, Compression and Elevation) was my only task for nearly two weeks.

Yesterday it was back to TRIA Orthopaedic Center to remove the stitches. I was then sent directly to meet Monte, my physical therapist. After just two PT sessions with Monte, I’m pleased to announce that my knee is gaining much mobility, the fluid is decreasing and the pain is leaving. In fact, I feel that the knee is so much better that I have given my therapist the nickname, Miracle Monte. (Of course he laughed when I told him that.)

Today was my second appointment. While lying on the table receiving my well earned treat…use of the “Game Ready” ice machine, I had time to ponder about these brief, painful but helpful sessions I completed. Monte is my coach. He runs the game plan. When I perform at a mediocre level, he pushes me to do better. He believes I can do more and perform better with each session I work out with him. Monte has the road map; he knows my goals and is there to coach me through when I would prefer to give up.

Monte is a terrific coach because he has the ability to motivate while he trains. Because he continues to cheer me on and remind me of the progress I am making, I’m able to push through the tough times. He continues to raise the bar and asks me to reach higher, but never forgets to remind me of how far I have come.

The ability to encourage and inspire while guiding an individual to peak performance is a gift…the ultimate gift.

The folks at this orthopaedic center have a mission “Whatever your personal goals are, TRIA has the experts to work with you to help you achieve the highest level of function with the best outcome possible.” My goal of having a knee that functions properly is going to take much effort. Quite frankly, I would never be able to push myself to accomplish that goal, nor would I know how to do it on my own.

You may be a coach or you may be looking for a coach to guide you to a higher level of function with the best outcome possible. Wherever you are in life, remember the ultimate gift…encouraging and inspiring while leading.

A New Perspective on Calendar Management...

Imagine walking into a room feeling confident, poised and energized. Your dreams are big and your motivation is high. You have your goals set, the action plan in place, you have even hired a coach to help you stay on track and keep pace with your demanding schedule. You live in a nice home in a great part of town and have a wonderful spouse and kids. There is so much to be thankful for. The warmth of the sunshine on your arms and the pleasant breeze blowing against your face are all reminders that life is good.

Then you look at the calendar for the next week. It seems to be filled with numbered black squares bursting with a rainbow of colours denoting each doctor appointment, early morning conference call, and after-hours meet and greet along with the vast array of children’s sporting activities that overlap and require permission slips and transportation.

Sure, life is hectic. We get by on too little sleep, promising to catch up on weekends. But we never do. To remain healthy and stay confident, poised and energized means being good to yourself too. Since the calendar refuses to clear itself, how about taking a new perspective to carve out some ‘play time’ for you?

How can you spend your play time? If you’re rattling off sports activities, forget it. Those don’t count. If you have forgotten how to play, break out the bubbles, kites, colouring books and most of all your imagination! Make up a game with rocks or loose change. Get some sidewalk chalk, a croquet set and some jacks; If you feel silly…good! If you don’t want the neighbors talking, join in with some kids or play with the dog.

Did you know that play time is one of the most healing activities for your health? Cut free from the rules, worry and stress. Most importantly, abandon your adult fixations and get in touch with your inner child. There’s a kid in all of us, just waiting for play time.

The place to improve the world is first in one’s own heart and head and hands. ~Robert M. Pirsig