Real Life Fender Benders...

While running errands today, a song came on the radio that has a catchy little tune and quirky words that strike home with women. I started humming along the first time I heard it and now my daughter enjoys singing along as well. Its fun, relatable message goes something like this… “Got couple dents in my fender – got a couple rips in my jeans – trying to put the pieces together, but perfection is my enemy”. This song, “Free to Be Me” is sung by a girl named Francesca Battistelli.

I had to chuckle to myself today because my 16 year old put a dent in my husbands sedan earlier this month. She was driving with her father, and while parking at the mall, she happened to hit the gas pedal instead of the brake. The car popped up over the curb and knocked over the small ‘temporary parking’ sign on a metal post in front of her. My daughter and my husband each were startled but the moment of fear caused opposite reactions to the minor event - One being silence with a frozen look on her face, the other a verbal outburst.

Some time has passed and we now giggle when we see the sign, which has once again tilted toward the ground because of the unfortunate incident. When retelling the story, friends have asked how we can now make light of this incident…typically from mom’s who have children close to the age of 16.

Here’s what I learned that can help you:

1) Find a Practical Perspective
“When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about.” (Albert Einstein) In the overall scheme of things, this was a minor accident, but a good teaching moment. Truthfully, it gave both parties involved, a chance to learn and grow. One received education on what to do when denting dad’s car, the other was reminded not to sweat the small stuff because it’s all small stuff.
2) Have a Reasonable Expectation
“In the middle of every difficulty, lies opportunity.” (Albert Einstein) Expecting that our new driver will go through the learning curve perfectly is unrealistic. Understanding and accepting this while going through this trying time for both parent and child, allows us the freedom to become flexible. When there is room to breath, an opportunity exists for discovery, independence, wisdom and certainty to grow.
3) Say a Sensible Word
“Correction does much, but encouragement does more.” (Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe) Will there be more fender benders? Probably. Will there be more good driving experiences than bad? Yes. It seems that from all my past ‘dents’ and ‘rips’, it is better to encourage someone to pick themselves up one more time and try again, rather than let them know all that they have done wrong.

No one ever said life is easy. Many of us have to experience things a couple of times before realizing the lesson. When we keep our perspectives and expectations in check, while speaking encouragement, we are free to laugh and sing while we put the pieces together from our real life ‘rips’ and ‘dents’.

Declaring Independence...

Independence Day - Fourth of July. Americans love their freedoms. Freedom to travel where they want, choose the home they live in, pick a career and a lifestyle. We even sing about the land of the free and the home of the brave. The Declaration of Independence embodies the values of Americans; the right of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

On this Independence Day 2009, I find myself reflecting on freedoms of all kinds as I lie on the couch recovering from knee surgery just two days prior. With a pillow under my affected leg and bandages covering the stitches, I’m forced to take things slowly. My family is ‘on call’ 24/7 because the ability to run up the steps quickly to get my glasses or scoot into the kitchen for a sandwich is quite difficult for me. Ironic isn’t it? That today, July 4th, is the day that America is celebrating our country’s freedom with family gatherings, cookouts and fireworks and here I sit completely DEpendent on others for help.

By in large, I am a person, who loves freedom. I prefer to be in control, to have the freedom to change my mind and to have a variety of choices for how to live my life. Independence and freedom are comfort zones for me. But today, I’m taking time to appreciate all that I have and the amazing potential that is before me.

This focus on freedom reminded me of something that Robert Kiyosaki’s wife Kim wrote in her book Rich Woman…“With every little victory you accomplish, your confidence increases. Increased confidence leads to higher self-esteem. Higher self-esteem leads to greater success, which ultimately leads to the greatest gift of all – freedom.”

The Declaration of Independence was a victory for America. In turn, this country gained confidence and esteem which ultimately led to our greatest gift of freedom. For you and me, each personal victory elevates certainty and value. The freedom we’ve gained from those events is something to appreciate.

What personal victories have you experienced? Today may be the time for you to reflect on the freedom and independence you have gained and declare your future potential.