What's On Your Life Plate?

Today while conversing with a friend, I asked her what was on her ‘Life Plate’. I actually have never used that term, nor have I heard anyone else use the reference. However, an immediate visual came to my mind. I pictured a large silver platter with hand carved swirled etch marks and grandiose edges which glistened in the light – something on which you would serve a fine meal to the people you love the most. On that platter, was each individual item that makes up my life – my spouse, children, friends, family, my home, volunteer work, house work, business and even my dreams and goals.

The reason for using that term ‘Life Plate’ has no explanation, but the visual certainly stays clear. There are days that my ‘Life Plate’ looks completely full and then someone will ask me to lead or facilitate their group, help out with this “short little project” or a family member finds themselves in the hospital. An immediate feeling of heaviness comes over me like a black cloud. Can anyone relate?

Have you asked any of these questions?

What do I do when my ‘Life Plate’ is completely full and things are leaning over the edge threatening to fall?

How can I possibly catch the falling items when I only have two hands?

Why am I continually asked to keep adding to my ‘Life Plate’ when I see no space available?

The overwhelmed feelings come when we fail to recognize what is on our ‘Life Plate’.

Might I suggest we look at things from a new perspective? Try these steps for more peace:

1-Take inventory – Specifically list each item on your ‘Plate’.

2- Rank the importance – Which items are most important to you personally? Of course I’m not willing to push my children off my plate (so to speak) so I can make room for watching my favorite weekly television show for example. It is of my opinion that my teenager needs me more now than when she was a toddler. The challenges she faces now are vital life lessons she is learning and seem to outweigh the importance of being able to tie a shoe or put a shirt on correctly. (But that’s a whole other blog)

3 -Celebrate the joy – Keep the items on your ‘Life Plate’ that bring you joy. What about the house work? Yes, put it in perspective…the joy is in being proud of a clean house. Order does produce peace. Just trust me on this one.

Where is your focus? Sometimes life does seem ‘full’. Realize if you continue to look at the lack of space you cannot relieve the darkness. I encourage you to place your focus on the amount of joy each item can bring to you. Go ahead – give it a try today. You’ll be glad you did.

Take Charge of Your Happiness...

Sitting in a conference one day, I caught an alarming statistic:

Adults smile 15 times a day while
children smile 400 times a day.

What a stark contrast that is. We can come up with all kinds of reasons…or can I call them excuses…that adults would choose to smile less. Yet, if I am truthful with you, I would tell you that

No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

In thinking about how to help people take charge of their own happiness, I thought I would share a few simple but profound points from an email I received from a friend and colleague. I’ve added some personal observations as well. Forgive me if you have read this before, but for those of you that haven’t, I encourage you to take some time to ponder.

1) Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Those numbers don’t tell the real story.

2) Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3) Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop & dull living’. Experience new things...get out.

4) Enjoy the simple things. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful. Stop to smell the flowers. Get up to see the sun rise. Listen to a child giggle.

5) Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath...

6) The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive. Life isn’t fair but it’s still good.

7) Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8) Cherish your health. If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9) Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country if you must, but NOT to where the guilt is. No matter how you feel…get up, dress up and show up.

10) Tell the people you love that you love them…at every opportunity.

You’ve heard it said before…life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away. What’s keeping you from smiling more and taking charge of your happiness? Start today by embracing one of the above suggestions and see if you feel better. Take charge of your happiness. Let me see you smile!

Do You Need a Jumpstart?

The frigid temps outside made me wonder if my car would start the other morning. My vehicle usually does not sit outside overnight but that night I stayed at a hotel. As I walked out to my car the next morning, I notice the vacant lot; most everyone had checked out. While holding my breath, I turned the ignition key. The engine hesitated, groaned and then ever so slowly came to life. I breathed a sigh of relief because I was not prepared for an event requiring jumper cables. Truthfully, even if I had jumper cables with me, I would still need assistance. Our AAA auto club membership roadside assistance would have served as a good backup plan. Although my experience went smoothly I learned something valuable. Think about this:

When we need a jumpstart in life, it requires assistance.

Jump starting my vehicle would require the help of another person regardless if it is the Auto Club or another hotel patron offering his vehicle…and a set of jumper cables in my case. The point is that there was no way possible I could get my van running by myself, no matter how great my efforts or determination. Bottom line…I needed help.

So why do we expect that we will be able to ‘jump-start’ our life by our self? Back in college I struggled with being overweight. I hit my all time high and made a decision that I needed to change some things. It did not take more than a couple days to realize that I needed someone to help me jump-start my endeavor. A dear friend chose to workout with me; she pushed me when the going got rough. Since I am a horrible morning person, I needed her to kick me in the seat of the pants and get me moving. Because I asked for help and she willingly stepped up, I lost 50 pounds and have kept it off for more than twenty years.

In what area do you need to ask for help to jump-start things?

Do you need to ask a good friend or personal trainer to exercise with you?

Do you need to ask a trusted person for feedback on a new logo you are creating for your business?

Do you need to ask your current customers for referrals?

Do you need to ask someone you admire to mentor you?

There most likely is something that you want to accomplish and know you could use a jump-start. The first step is to ask for help.

When we need a jumpstart in life, it requires assistance.

“You create your opportunities by asking for them.” ~ Shakti Gawain

Stop Settling and Start Living...

It was a dreary, overcast morning; the kind that make it hard to get out of bed and get started on your day. A few upbeat songs came on the radio that cleared my head and got me in the right frame of mind to get my workout completed. While at the club, a woman who was working out next to me, started sharing with the trainer that she had some changes going on in her life. Her husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at the age of 62 and now he moved to a care facility at 70 years of age because his mind was gone. She was trying desperately to keep going and remain positive, but the reality of the experience was staring her straight in the face demanding to be noticed.

Many thoughts raced through my mind about this man’s young age, how short life is and how we just don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Yet more than anything, I just wanted to know…did he make the most of every day before the Alzheimer’s stole his life? Did he make his work a priority or did he laugh with his family and create memories with them? Did he talk about where he would go ‘someday’ or did he travel and experience the incredible world we live in? Did he settle for mediocrity or did he embrace all that life has to offer? Did he take things for granted or did he tell the people who meant the most to him that he loved them?

“There are many things in life that will catch our eye but only a few will catch your heart…pursue those.”

No one can predict how much time we have left to live our life. If there is something tugging at your heartstrings that you have been putting off, why not pursue it. Even if life has thrown you a string of curve balls trying to strike you out, why not pick today to stand back up, brush yourself off and try again. Make a plan, talk to someone, pay attention to the things other people do that you find fascinating and start experiencing all those things you’ve wanted to do but never have.

“Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.”

Make today the day you stop settling and start living.

Play to Win...

The Gator Bowl, the Sugar Bowl, the Cotton Bowl, and the “Granddaddy of them All”…the Rose Bowl have entertained millions of college football fans across the nation during this New Year’s holiday. My family, like others have spent hours watching these talented teams bring their very best skills (along with some verbal outbursts) to compete for the title ‘winner’.

Winning on the field and winning in life, I’ve noticed while watching college football bowl games, have some similarities. Here are three that jumped out at me, see if you agree.

     A) Some teams have more depth. They have more players to play the game and keep everyone fresh and alert. Additionally, with more depth on your team, you can play each player in their strongest area. When each player exercises their strength, the team becomes stronger and at times…undefeatable.

     B) Some teams are just more prepared. The game we watch on television is the culmination of days, weeks and months of hard work, training, sweat and practice. The viewer does not see all the dedication behinds the scenes. Yet it is certain that there are many different levels of preparation. It stands to reason that those who spend more time in the weight room will be stronger. Those who spend more time with the trainer will be more coordinated. Those who spend more time exercising will be healthier. Hence, the team that is more prepared should be able to win more games.

     C) Some teams just want to win more. The will to win is an amazing factor seemingly giving teams momentum. As a sports fan, I’ve seen two teams walk onto their playing field with two very different swaggers. One team with head and chest held high, the other head and shoulders sagging. The difference? I might suggest the difference could be belief. One team just wants to win and believes they will be victorious. The other team…well, to be honest, they hope they will win.

It’s a new year. Are you ready to become a better, stronger, more winning team? Where are the specific areas you need to strengthen?

• Do you need more depth on your team? Take a look at the strength of each player. Are they playing to their strong suit?
• Do you need to be more prepared?  What specific area needs improvement - education, motivation, organization, attitude?
• Do you want to win? Do you believe?

If college football teams are willing to ‘lay it on the line’ for a trophy and a t-shirt, what are you willing to do to win in your life? There is no better time to start than today, because today is the first day of the rest of your life. Play to win.

Wishing you a blessed Christmas and a New Year filled with
health, happiness and prosperity.

How to Help the World, One Person at a Time...

A few years ago, there was a day that my oldest daughter needed a ride to an event. On the way, she asked if we could stop to get a sandwich so we pulled into a nearby sandwich shop. I followed my daughter in because someone had to pay the bill and of course teenagers never have any money! Once the sandwich was made very young, dark haired girl moved gently to the cash register. Her methodical quiet pace revealed her to have a slightly reserved personality. Without making eye contact, she gave me the total cost in a slight whisper. I in turn, fumbled for my pink wallet amongst the vast array of crinkled receipts in my purse. (Where do they all come from?) As I looked up into the youthful employees face, I noticed that she was wearing adorable eye glass frames which complimented her personal beauty. Without hesitation, I blurted out, “Wow. You have really great eye glass frames. I love how they look on you. They are a perfect fit for your face.”

What happened next is the part of the story I really want you to catch. This reserved, bashful girl raised her torso, lifted her chin, and got a big smile across her face. She looked me straight in the eye and said, “Thank you!”

My daughter and I left the sandwich shop and drove off to her event. Yet, I just could not release from my mind, the vision of that young girls reaction back at the store. All I did was share an honest, heartfelt compliment. Yet it seemed to turn her world around. By watching her body language, it was as if her self-confidence increased. The quick compliment sure made her smile. All I could think about was the amazing transformation that happened to an individual, just because I chose to give a compliment.

Since that time, I’ve often wondered, why don’t people give more compliments?

Here are three reasons I came up with – see if you agree.

1) Possibly it is a TIME issue. After all, we are busy people. You and I are time pressed. We live in a microwave society where we like things to happen instantaneously. Yep, that’s it. People probably don’t give more compliments because it takes too much time. Well, the compliment I gave to the employee must have taken me about 20 seconds – maybe less. If you and I talked about it, I bet we would agree that giving a compliment and making someone feel great actually doesn’t take much time at all. It is something we all can do while we are ‘doing’ life. So if it is not a time issue that people don’t give more compliments, what is it?

2) Maybe it’s FINANCIAL - People are constantly talking about their shortage of money, fuel prices, foreclosures on homes, and the overall mess that the economy is in. Maybe people don’t give more compliments because it costs too much money. Let’s think about it for a second. How much did it cost me to say a few nice words to this young girl? I think we can all concur that this compliment withdrew nothing from my wallet. The sandwich still was the same price. So if it is not because of finances that people don’t compliment more, what is it?

3) This time I think I’ve got it. It must be EFFORT. Sure, there it is; it takes too much effort for us to compliment someone else. Well, I don’t know. Maybe it wasn’t all that hard. I can tell you one thing, I was NOT in the parking lot outside of that sandwich shop giving myself a pep talk and doing cardio vascular exercises in preparation for a big event inside the restaurant. No way. My teenage daughter would have disowned me as her mom! Truth is, it took zero effort on my part to pass along a deserving compliment that day.

So if it takes very little time, no money and the smallest of effort, why don’t people give more compliments?

Might I offer a suggestion? Could it possibly be that we are so caught up in ourselves and our daily happenings, that we are forgetting to look at who is across the counter from us? Maybe?

Helen Keller was such an incredible person, overcoming huge challenges in her lifetime. She said, “To the world you may be just one. But to one, you may be the world.” Now go back and read that again. Chances are that you thought of a very special person that did or said something to you that changed your world. Remember how it elevated you? Remember how gushy you felt inside? Did you smile or was a full-fledged beam from ear to ear? How else did it impact you? Is that a feeling that should be felt by more people?

I encourage you to pay that feeling forward to someone else. What better season to say something nice to another. Just think what would happen if you and I started a complimenting revolution? We could together make an impact that would reverberate across the land. How awesome it would be to see a changed world. Go ahead start today. What are you waiting for? Go out and make a difference in this world – give a compliment.