Relationships First Business Second...

Two or three days a week my morning begins with a workout after the car pool duties have been completed. Many days, as most moms’ can relate to, there are a series of errands that need to be completed, such as bank deposit, stamps from the post office, groceries, etc. Today was nothing unusual. A package with a prepaid label had to be delivered to The UPS Store (I refer to them as ‘Brown’). Behind the counter, the energetic young man with great eyeglass frames and adorable balding head asked how he could help me. I smiled politely and greeted him with a hearty hello. The box that held my fragile item was a bit unassuming and needed some attention. We had used all the packaging tape we owned and came up a bit short in completing the task.

Here is the part of the story I really want you to catch….

Rather than approaching the ‘Brown’ employee swiftly with a rapid-fire list of tasks that he should do for me, I chose a different path. I engaged him in conversation.

I began with a line, something like, “Looks like you must be in charge here.” His eyes lit up and we were immediately off to a good start. A few more sentences were exchanged and then he offered to help me with my humble little mailing. That point was the first I mentioned needing to mail this package AND that additional tape was needed to secure the package. (I was fully prepared to purchase a roll of packing tape and finish off the job on my own)

Here’s what happened next…

The ‘Brown’ employee said, “Since you are so genuine and pleasant I would love to finish taping that box for you and get it on its way.”

I don’t know about you, but I haven’t heard the word genuine much lately - made me feel good because I was merely just being “me”. I had no ulterior motive – I believe that it is a whole lot easier to be happy and pleasant than sad and disgruntled. In reply I blurted out…”Relationships First Business Second.” It seems more important than ever in today’s high-tech world, that we remember the relationship. The ‘Brown’ employee and I continued our conversation and I was introduced to the other ‘Brown’ employee as well. We laughed and joked around for at least another 5 minutes.

My wisdom for you today…

Whatever we are doing in life…building a business, raising a family, working our job, mailing a package…it is important to remember:

Relationships First Business Second

It seems that most solid businesses are successful because they made relationships a priority over everything else. Now it’s your turn. Go out and give away a smile, offer a hearty hello, and notice the person on the other side of the counter. That is a true win-win in life.

What's Your Story?

It was Monday afternoon, the day after Easter. A call to customer service to deal with a cell phone challenge, kept me on the line longer than anticipated – I miss two calls from my husband. Later when we did connect, he relayed some startling news – his uncle had just been killed in a car accident. That icy chill traveled quickly from the base of my neck, down my back and through the back of my legs. I found my way to the floor to sit in attempt to absorb the shock.


This was the uncle who was an entrepreneur, who preferred to call his own shots, who took pride in going after what he wanted and built a financially secure future for himself, his children and his grandchildren. He and his wife were never content sitting at home – they traveled the world and experienced many cultures and people. When he shook your hand, it was always a firm handshake and he looked you straight in the eye. An outsider would say, he “led the good life”. I would say, he was determined, decisive, hard working and believed in himself – he led by example.

Over the last 20 years, I saw this man only on occasion, but I looked forward to each encounter. My favorite thing to do, when in his presence, was to just sit quietly and listen to him tell stories. Boy, did he have some tales. Sometimes it was a funny story of some people they encountered on a cruise ship or a quirky question he was asked by a business client. Sometimes it was one of those pride-filled stories of time spent with a granddaughter. Yet other times, he spoke of the scenic wonders he experienced with his eyes while touring an exotic land. With a grin on my face, I wondered, if time permitted, could he continue entertaining forever?

Today the family is faced with the reality that there will be no more stories. Those precious stories were filled with golden nuggets of wisdom which the listener could gain an education. Those precious stories not only entertained me but opened my eyes to a new perspective – a bigger world. I cherish the moments I was afforded to spend with this man. Today, the thought that crushes my spirit is realizing that the opportunity to glean the golden nuggets of wisdom from the experiences of this man…are gone. Now I must face the fact that his wisdom will go to the grave with him.

This tragedy has given me a new perspective for the project I am working on. The Wisdom Project (http://www.thewisdomproject.info/) was birthed with the belief that each time one person shares their wisdom – another person is strengthened. One of the best ways to share that wisdom is to put our thoughts/ideas/experiences to paper and share them in book form to reach people across the world. That is just what The Wisdom Project has committed to do – collect your stories of wisdom and pass them on.

No one knows how many days they have left to live. Yet while we are here, we have the opportunity, if we choose, to take a few moments and write down some words of wisdom. How many days do you have left to share your wisdom – to pass it onto the next generation? I encourage you to take the time to write what wisdom means to you and submit it to yourstory@thewisdomproject.info so your legacy can carry on.

What's your story? 

Someone out there is waiting to hear it!

What Are YOU Looking At?

Some may interpret an amount of bitterness in that question. However, there IS another way to read that question. My intention was merely to find out what you are looking at - what are you focused on? Where is your energy and thoughts pointed today?


Many years ago, a well respected mentor taught me a lesson on focus that has left a profound impact on my life. After all these years, her words ring in my head again today. She said:

What you focus on will expand.

Simple statement, wouldn’t you agree? When thinking of real life examples of focal points, the message can paint a vibrant mental picture. Think on this:

   • If you focus on food – your waistline can expand.
   • If you focus on exercise – your health can improve.
   • If you focus on your homework – your grades can get better.
   • If you focus on skipping school – your detention can increase.
   • If you focus on ways to bring your family together – your relationships can be enriched.
   • If you focus on your communication skills – you can become more confident

My challenge to you today is to find what you want to expand in your life. Are you focused on the right area? If we continue to focus on the caterpillar, we could easily be blinded by the overwhelming vision of death, loss and ending. But if we are focused on looking for the beautiful new fluttering butterfly on its way, we fill our mind with life, victory and a new sense of beginning. What are YOU looking at?

What you focus on will expand.

Simple Things that Make You Smile (Part II)...

Last November, one of my blogs (http://bit.ly/bHSK9U) challenged you to list some simple things in life that put a smile on your face. I gave several examples of my own to help others stimulate thoughts of happiness in their life.

As the month of March comes to a close, I recognize that it was a time filled with great emotions on both sides of the spectrum – from sheer elation and exhilaration all the way to hurt, fear and frustration with many other emotions in between. I’ve dealt with challenges out of my control, like my luggage taking a holiday across the United States while I spent a holiday in Australia. (I’ll write about that experience some day later) I’ve received news from dear friends about personal health challenges they were facing and others who watched their closest loved ones fight a hard fought battle. Most recently, our neighborhood learned of a pedophile living nearby who committed yet another offense. Finally, without fail, all I have to do is turn on the television and watch the news, if I want to listen to heated arguments where two opposing groups of people verbally bash each other because the hurt and fear inside has erupted.

With all that pain, hurt and sorrow, how can anyone find a reason to smile? In a moment of reflection, I immediately thought of a favorite saying:

“It’s not what happens to you, it’s what you do before it, during it and after it.”

Today I choose to dance in the rain. Today I choose to accept that this world is not perfect and free from hurt…and neither am I. Today I choose to find the things in life that make me smile, no matter how big or small they are. Today I encourage you to choose the same.

Moving Your Communication from Good to Great...

This week, I have found myself using the same phrase several times over. It goes something like this:

If you want to move from good to great…it’s the little things that will get you there.

Today while talking with a colleague about their website, I used this phrase. They made some really nice changes to their website and it looks good. I know this company well and know the message they want to communicate. When I noticed a few “little things” they could improve on, I asked if they would like to ramp things up and have a great website – because it’s the little things that will get them there.

Another area this phrase came into play was with the grade school speech team I coach. These are students in grades 5-8 who look to me to help them with some basic public speaking skills to gain poise and confidence. Not an easy thing to do. Quite frankly most people feel that public speaking is one of their greatest fears.

Experience has shown me that there is a group of students that bring some natural abilities to the table and have a determined attitude that propels them forward faster than others. This week, for those students just mentioned, I asked them if they would like to move from good to great. Of course everyone gave an enthusiastic ‘Yes’.

The question remains…How can we move our communication from Good to Great? Here are some “little things” for you to ponder on:

• Pausing for Effect – when a student is delivering a serious story or poem, a good pause has the ability to grab the attention of the audience and keep them interested. Sometimes we too have to pause, take a step back and find out what we really want (or how we want our website to look). Keep in mind that you may not always be able to recognize the process on your own – having a person who is outside the forest can give you new perspective. They can see the ‘little things’ that will help you communicate more effectively.
• Vocal Flexibility – An audience much prefers a speaker to have flexibility in their voice rather than a monotone nature. It is more pleasant to the ear and makes it easier to understand the information given. Again, in life, we can move from Good to Great communication when we learn to say things in a couple different ways until the message is understood.
• Timing – A speech team has minimums and maximums in regard to the clock. The goal is to have the student speak long enough to see what they have learned. However, being respectful of other people’s time and not misuse their platform by taking too long is just as important. When communicating, it is always good to remember that we have one mouth and two ears - Using them in that proportion works best.

We communicate with people constantly all day long. Since it is a skill that is used so frequently, I’m suggesting that we be aware of how well we communicate. The good news?

If you want to move from good to great…it’s the little things that will get you there.

What are some ‘little things’ that you have learned to improve communication?

 

What's On Your Life Plate?

Today while conversing with a friend, I asked her what was on her ‘Life Plate’. I actually have never used that term, nor have I heard anyone else use the reference. However, an immediate visual came to my mind. I pictured a large silver platter with hand carved swirled etch marks and grandiose edges which glistened in the light – something on which you would serve a fine meal to the people you love the most. On that platter, was each individual item that makes up my life – my spouse, children, friends, family, my home, volunteer work, house work, business and even my dreams and goals.

The reason for using that term ‘Life Plate’ has no explanation, but the visual certainly stays clear. There are days that my ‘Life Plate’ looks completely full and then someone will ask me to lead or facilitate their group, help out with this “short little project” or a family member finds themselves in the hospital. An immediate feeling of heaviness comes over me like a black cloud. Can anyone relate?

Have you asked any of these questions?

What do I do when my ‘Life Plate’ is completely full and things are leaning over the edge threatening to fall?

How can I possibly catch the falling items when I only have two hands?

Why am I continually asked to keep adding to my ‘Life Plate’ when I see no space available?

The overwhelmed feelings come when we fail to recognize what is on our ‘Life Plate’.

Might I suggest we look at things from a new perspective? Try these steps for more peace:

1-Take inventory – Specifically list each item on your ‘Plate’.

2- Rank the importance – Which items are most important to you personally? Of course I’m not willing to push my children off my plate (so to speak) so I can make room for watching my favorite weekly television show for example. It is of my opinion that my teenager needs me more now than when she was a toddler. The challenges she faces now are vital life lessons she is learning and seem to outweigh the importance of being able to tie a shoe or put a shirt on correctly. (But that’s a whole other blog)

3 -Celebrate the joy – Keep the items on your ‘Life Plate’ that bring you joy. What about the house work? Yes, put it in perspective…the joy is in being proud of a clean house. Order does produce peace. Just trust me on this one.

Where is your focus? Sometimes life does seem ‘full’. Realize if you continue to look at the lack of space you cannot relieve the darkness. I encourage you to place your focus on the amount of joy each item can bring to you. Go ahead – give it a try today. You’ll be glad you did.

Take Charge of Your Happiness...

Sitting in a conference one day, I caught an alarming statistic:

Adults smile 15 times a day while
children smile 400 times a day.

What a stark contrast that is. We can come up with all kinds of reasons…or can I call them excuses…that adults would choose to smile less. Yet, if I am truthful with you, I would tell you that

No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

In thinking about how to help people take charge of their own happiness, I thought I would share a few simple but profound points from an email I received from a friend and colleague. I’ve added some personal observations as well. Forgive me if you have read this before, but for those of you that haven’t, I encourage you to take some time to ponder.

1) Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Those numbers don’t tell the real story.

2) Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3) Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop & dull living’. Experience new things...get out.

4) Enjoy the simple things. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful. Stop to smell the flowers. Get up to see the sun rise. Listen to a child giggle.

5) Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath...

6) The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive. Life isn’t fair but it’s still good.

7) Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8) Cherish your health. If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9) Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country if you must, but NOT to where the guilt is. No matter how you feel…get up, dress up and show up.

10) Tell the people you love that you love them…at every opportunity.

You’ve heard it said before…life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away. What’s keeping you from smiling more and taking charge of your happiness? Start today by embracing one of the above suggestions and see if you feel better. Take charge of your happiness. Let me see you smile!