Wishing you a blessed Christmas and a New Year filled with
health, happiness and prosperity.

How to Help the World, One Person at a Time...

A few years ago, there was a day that my oldest daughter needed a ride to an event. On the way, she asked if we could stop to get a sandwich so we pulled into a nearby sandwich shop. I followed my daughter in because someone had to pay the bill and of course teenagers never have any money! Once the sandwich was made very young, dark haired girl moved gently to the cash register. Her methodical quiet pace revealed her to have a slightly reserved personality. Without making eye contact, she gave me the total cost in a slight whisper. I in turn, fumbled for my pink wallet amongst the vast array of crinkled receipts in my purse. (Where do they all come from?) As I looked up into the youthful employees face, I noticed that she was wearing adorable eye glass frames which complimented her personal beauty. Without hesitation, I blurted out, “Wow. You have really great eye glass frames. I love how they look on you. They are a perfect fit for your face.”

What happened next is the part of the story I really want you to catch. This reserved, bashful girl raised her torso, lifted her chin, and got a big smile across her face. She looked me straight in the eye and said, “Thank you!”

My daughter and I left the sandwich shop and drove off to her event. Yet, I just could not release from my mind, the vision of that young girls reaction back at the store. All I did was share an honest, heartfelt compliment. Yet it seemed to turn her world around. By watching her body language, it was as if her self-confidence increased. The quick compliment sure made her smile. All I could think about was the amazing transformation that happened to an individual, just because I chose to give a compliment.

Since that time, I’ve often wondered, why don’t people give more compliments?

Here are three reasons I came up with – see if you agree.

1) Possibly it is a TIME issue. After all, we are busy people. You and I are time pressed. We live in a microwave society where we like things to happen instantaneously. Yep, that’s it. People probably don’t give more compliments because it takes too much time. Well, the compliment I gave to the employee must have taken me about 20 seconds – maybe less. If you and I talked about it, I bet we would agree that giving a compliment and making someone feel great actually doesn’t take much time at all. It is something we all can do while we are ‘doing’ life. So if it is not a time issue that people don’t give more compliments, what is it?

2) Maybe it’s FINANCIAL - People are constantly talking about their shortage of money, fuel prices, foreclosures on homes, and the overall mess that the economy is in. Maybe people don’t give more compliments because it costs too much money. Let’s think about it for a second. How much did it cost me to say a few nice words to this young girl? I think we can all concur that this compliment withdrew nothing from my wallet. The sandwich still was the same price. So if it is not because of finances that people don’t compliment more, what is it?

3) This time I think I’ve got it. It must be EFFORT. Sure, there it is; it takes too much effort for us to compliment someone else. Well, I don’t know. Maybe it wasn’t all that hard. I can tell you one thing, I was NOT in the parking lot outside of that sandwich shop giving myself a pep talk and doing cardio vascular exercises in preparation for a big event inside the restaurant. No way. My teenage daughter would have disowned me as her mom! Truth is, it took zero effort on my part to pass along a deserving compliment that day.

So if it takes very little time, no money and the smallest of effort, why don’t people give more compliments?

Might I offer a suggestion? Could it possibly be that we are so caught up in ourselves and our daily happenings, that we are forgetting to look at who is across the counter from us? Maybe?

Helen Keller was such an incredible person, overcoming huge challenges in her lifetime. She said, “To the world you may be just one. But to one, you may be the world.” Now go back and read that again. Chances are that you thought of a very special person that did or said something to you that changed your world. Remember how it elevated you? Remember how gushy you felt inside? Did you smile or was a full-fledged beam from ear to ear? How else did it impact you? Is that a feeling that should be felt by more people?

I encourage you to pay that feeling forward to someone else. What better season to say something nice to another. Just think what would happen if you and I started a complimenting revolution? We could together make an impact that would reverberate across the land. How awesome it would be to see a changed world. Go ahead start today. What are you waiting for? Go out and make a difference in this world – give a compliment.

Simple Things that make you Smile...

A former high school classmate, with just one blog post, has reminded me that life continues to go by quickly and we don’t usually take time to remember the things that make us happy. When I read his ‘personal inventory’ compilation of his simple pleasures, it inspired me to do the same. Although this list may be completely different than yours, I hope it motivates you to take some time and create your own list to reflect on and smile about. Here is mine:

• Walking into Starbucks on a Friday morning to find they still have a piece of Lemon Loaf left for you.

• Having a friend whom you have not spoken with for a long time, give you a phone call out of the blue. Even though the conversation only lasts for a few minutes, it’s the warm fuzzy you feel inside when you hear their voice.

• Feeling their elation when your child tells you about something thrilling that happened to them at school.

• Unending laughter when you are together as a family at the dinner table, over something rather random and corny, but still seems to strike a chord with at least 2 people at the table. You know…the kind that causes near hyperventilation and makes your eyes water?

• Knowing that your 16 year old thinks it’s cool to walk into Target on a Thursday night with both her and her mom wearing pink baseball hats.

• Enjoying family time at Disney World for days on end while being completely unplugged from the world…and not caring how many Emails, Texts, Tweets or Facebook messages you have missed.

• When your heart is hurting and a friend simply says, “I care about you.”

• Getting a snail mail Christmas card with a picture instead of just a card.

• The smell of freshly made popcorn…with extra butter.

• Having your spouse create a memorable tradition by preparing a lobster dinner at home for you on Valentine’s Day because it’s your Birthday…and watching the kids eat hot dogs.

• Being able to receive words of affirmation and appreciation from people because your writings have touched them in a special way.

Realizing that 75% of my list happened within 48 hours prior to writing about it, reminds me that happiness abounds all around. What are some simple things in life that make you smile? We’d love to hear them!

Walkin' in a Wonderland...

Do you ever wonder at the wonder of it all? Do you watch the waves roll in and then look out far beyond them where the water seems to touch the sky and realize that the vast expanse before your eyes is only a small little corner of all there really is?

Ralph S. Marston, Jr. gave these words life in his famed poem “The Wonder of It All”. Webster defines the meaning of wonder as “a feeling of surprise, admiration and awe aroused by something strange, unexpected and incredible”.

Living in the Midwest, residents experience incredible wonder with the change of seasons. The winter months bring sparkling fresh blankets of snow and a bitter chill in the air. One can hear the screams from children sledding down a hill and see the determined efforts of the snowboarding teenagers who are challenged by the run of the course. Come spring, the soft rain showers wash away the heavy compacted snow and give way to a renewal of the land. Green plants start to arise from the earth, birds begin to sing their songs and flowers prepare to release their colorful fragrant blossoms. Summer quickly follows with temperatures skyrocketing and neighbors enjoying the aroma of burgers and brats on the grill. A child’s laughter fills the air as they swing higher than ever before and men listen for the rumble from a nearby speed boat or motorcycle. Before long, another renovation occurs as the leaves on the trees change from emerald to crimson to amber to russet. They flutter to the ground when the brisk autumn breeze blows. Whistles and cheers fill the air at the football games and a crackling of the logs in the fire pit will mesmerize all who stop to feel its warmth. Almost in the blink of an eye, the transformation has come full circle when the approaching signs of winter appear once again. Each season holds a wonder and an amazement all its own.

During the summer months, a tree can be as wide as it is tall, filled with large deep green thick leaves, so abundant that the tree trunk and branches are not visible. Yet, in the winter, that very same tree will stand the test of time, with only its bare thin trunk and peeling bark. Do you ever wonder how it will renew itself and blossom into its full beauty and potential again next year? Ah…the wonder of it all!

We each are walking in a land of wonder and amazement. I urge you to dig deep today to find the wonders around you, to stop and smell the flowers. Find what you have taken for granted. When was the last time you listened to the pitter patter of raindrops falling ever so softly? When was the last time you allowed yourself to slowly eat your favorite food, holding it in your mouth and appreciate the robust flavors it offers? When was the last time you stopped to caress the cheek of a tiny infant or stroked a velvety baby bunny? When was the last time you delighted in the smell of fresh baked cookies and thought back to years gone by?

Today is a new day of wonder. Take five minutes before turning in for the night, to journal some things in your life that you are grateful for…things that make you wonder.

Defining Moments

Tonight my family and I attended a concert where a dear friend was performing. There were several very talented artists involved, but one in particular stood out. I might be a tad bit partial but nonetheless, the reason this singer/songwriter stood out to me was because he presented my youngest daughter with a precious gift. No, he didn’t share any diamonds or pearls with her, nor did he grant her a monetary gift. The present this man bestowed on her is so valuable it will last a lifetime. This complete stranger took the time to recognize an eleven year old child, look her in the eye and plant a seed in her heart with his words and message. He told her about a song he had just recorded called “Undefined”. With thoughtfulness in his eyes and passion in his heart, he told her that “Undefined” meant ‘having no definition’. He proceeded to declare that the world cannot ‘define’ who she is as a person. She is on a journey where she is defining who she is; she can define the undefined, reach for the unreachable, believe the unbelievable, and laugh at the impossible.

With tears in my eyes I stood in complete humbleness. What if everyone was willing to plant a seed of greatness in someone they have never met before? What if you and I took our eyes off ourselves long enough to reach out to a child and tell them they were special? What if we lifted one person each day with our words or message? Dare we ask what might happen?

Today’s world is in need of people, ordinary people like you and I, who are willing to define the undefined; People willing to reach out to the unreachable. People who believe that we CAN change the world…for the better…by planting one seed in one person each step of the way. Who is willing to Flip the Switch and redefine who they are by planting a seed?

It's Planting Time...

Last fall, many people saw the American economy ‘down for the count’. We heard terms like downturn, recession and slump. True, America was sick, but during challenging times, poor discipline and immaturity seem to be revealed. Maybe it’s time to get real and be honest. Try this on for size….the economy is not dwindling – it’s being transformed.

We were sick and now it’s time to fix the root of the problem. Forget the band-aid. Let’s pick up the pieces and put them together in a new way to form a new life. What this situation exposed was simply all the elements that were broken.

What would happen if we embraced the chaos? What if we buried the self doubt, the doom and gloom, the envy and the ‘woe is me’ attitude? Go ahead…pick up a shovel, dig a six foot hole and bury that stuff for good. The truth is, today is a great time for a new generation to rise up and find the strength to start planting – planting confidence, determination and belief.

Think about when the gardener plants a new seed. When that seed begins to sprout, the first thing that comes up is a little dirt - it is then and only then that the shoot begins to appear. Can you hang on long enough to brush away the initial dirt so you can celebrate the new healthy green sprouting growth? That kind of determination will be needed.

The germination period for each seed is different. Some seeds sprout right away but the plant is slow to grow. While others take excessive amounts of time to push through the earth, then their bloom comes quickly. Can you maintain your confidence even when there is no sight of growth?

Think about a farmer. When he plants corn in the spring, he knows without a shadow of a doubt that he will be harvesting corn (not wheat) in the fall. He maintained his belief throughout the entire growing season. Can you sustain your belief throughout growing season?

We’re not ‘down and out’; it’s time to Plant. Planting confidence, determination and belief today has the potential to create an abundant harvest tomorrow.

Choosing Your Battles...

Growing up I've heard the saying, "You have to choose your battles."  I've told other mothers the very same thing.  While this is great advice for parenting (especially when you have a teenager), some battles arrive with full armor ready to take charge that we did not choose.

My dear friend did not choose breast cancer and a brain aneurism...but she did choose to fight.

The battles that have chosen me this last month, I did not choose.  But I know in order to survive them, I have to fight.  And that I will do.

What battle has come to you?  Are you willing to fight?

The world is looking for a generation of people who will rise up when the battles of life get difficult....even scary.  It would be much easier to give in or give up all together.

Know that you are not alone.  Know that YOU can CHOOSE to be a warrior.  I will.  Will YOU?

** Kimberly recommends the book "Warrior Chicks" by Holly Wagner for further insight on this subject.

If You're Happy and You Know It...

Today is the day of the week that is adored by most people...today is Friday. Back in the day, it was the day where I seemed to have the most energy because I was anticipating the occurrence of fun during the weekend. Yet today, several years later, my energy level is zero and the thought of going to sleep at 8pm sounds like a fantastic idea!

What did your week look like? Mine consisted of a doctor appointment, physical therapy, two separate car pool arrangements each day, leading a Bible Study, attending a Mom’s of Teens group, a conference call, parents night at school, Skyping with colleagues in Atlanta and Australia, cheering for one kid at two different volleyball games and driving the other to work, a tweet here and a tweet there, RSVPing to a child’s birthday party, reading a self-help book to learn and grow and writing a blog. It’s no wonder that I forgot it was picture day at school on Wednesday and had to run to the mall the night before and spend exactly 42 minutes finding a cute shirt only to fly back home with the kids for them to complete homework. Newsflash for everyone...I’m TIRED!

Now, I'm not complaining because this IS the life I chose. Things could be even more crazy if I had a 40 hour a week job in addition to the above items (God bless those of you who do!). There did seem to be a theme throughout my week. Let me explain....during my social media time, I read a blog from a woman who is implementing a 3-day a week 10pm bedtime for herself because she is not getting enough sleep and it is making her cranky. Then I read an article that said studies are showing that women are less happy today than they were in 1969 even though we are achieving more than ever thought possible.

Ladies! What is going on? Are we less happy? Are we more tired? Is our calendar too full? Are we working ourselves too much?

I really don’t know the answer to these questions, but I do believe that happiness is a choice. Some will agree with that and others won’t. Either way, I’d be interested to hear what YOU do to find/maintain some level of happiness in your life. Maybe if we each shared one or two things we could accumulate a list that could reach a generation of women! What if? Let me get your think tank started:

1. Surround yourself with favorite things – I have 6 brightly coloured plastic coasters with Mickey ears all over them that we just picked up at Disney World. They remind me of our great times and make me smile.
2. Set a timer while blogging – If there is a set time with no outside distractions then I can write more efficiently and effectively. The trick is to actually set aside the time. But when I do, I feel good about my accomplishment and smile when I lay my head on the pillow at night.

Okay…now it’s your turn. Send me your thoughts. Tell me what do YOU do to find/maintain a level of happiness in your life? Together, let’s see if we can ‘turn up’ the happiness meter in the crazy lives of women.

Perseverance with a Capital "P"...

I dare you to watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nifq3Ke2Q30
No, I’m not going to have you buy anything or send anything to your computer. Nor am I going to sway your political or religious beliefs. I dare you to watch this video (be sure to click the back button when you are done) and reflect on the emotion that it evokes inside of you. Go ahead…it only takes 2 ½ minutes. When you have that assignment done, then you are free to continue reading.

Ok. That was worth 2 ½ minutes of your time, wasn’t it?

That Olympic performance was perseverance with a capital “P”. Because of Derek Redmond’s sheer willpower and strength of mind, he completed that which he had started - The one thing that was his only focus for weeks prior. He persevered through extraordinary circumstances to accomplish his goal.

During the Olympics we see so many individuals stand the test of time and overcome great obstacles to earn the right to stand on a podium and watch the flag from their country raise while their national anthem is played. The thing that those athletes have in common is perseverance.

Perseverance is not only for the Olympic athlete. The woman diagnosed with breast cancer receiving chemotherapy and continuing to care for her children, has perseverance. The man who was laid off months ago and continues to seek employment after each rejection letter is received, has perseverance. The child who comes from the home where there is fighting and unhappiness, yet chooses to give their best during school has perseverance.

Perseverance comes in all shapes and sizes. What is your challenge? What are you pressing through right now? Are you in the beginning, end or somewhere in the middle? Have you had those days where you just don’t want to go on any more? Are you asking how to carry on?

A dear friend, whom I have great respect for, gave me this quote this week, “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass – it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” Derek Redmond didn’t wait for the pain to subside – he danced through the puddles in his way.

If you find yourself faced with a challenge and the road seems long and bumpy, look around you and see all the reasons to keep going. If nothing else…write these quotes upon your heart. They are sure to get you through the next hurdle:

Let your hook always be cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish. (Ovid)

Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn’t know that so it goes on flying anyway. (Mary Kay Ash)

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all. (Dale Carnegie)

In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins – not through strength but by perseverance. (H. Jackson Brown)

To Compliment or Not To Compliment...

An email came into my inbox today that caught my immediate attention. It was from an acquaintance that I have great respect for – Kevin Eickenberry at Remarkable Leadership. It seems that he is conducting a sort of ‘test’, if you will, on Twitter with regard to giving people authentic, genuine recognition more often.

I quickly thought back to two days prior of a discussion that occurred during a training session that my husband and I were conducting for a company in Ohio. During our training session, a participant shared that he feels that leading with a compliment while meeting a new person is a good idea. I in turn added that I have gotten into the habit of giving compliments to anyone I meet regardless if they are a stranger or friend. Many times when I am out ‘doing life’ and I see a girl with a cute haircut, a guy with attractive eye frames, or someone with an outfit that looks amazing on them…I will share my compliment with them. My theory is that the world is so caught up in their own day-to-day routine that we forget to notice others around us. If a compliment is deserved, it should be given (in my opinion). Someone on the other side of the room interjected because he was opposed to that idea. He felt that complimenting an individual immediately upon meeting, comes off as phony.

So here I am today, realizing that there are once again, two sides to each issue and wondering is there a happy middle? Although I understand that Kevin Eikenberry is speaking more of verbal recognition, giving a compliment seems to have the same uplifting power for a spirit.

What has been your experience? Possibly it is good for us to practice complimenting more often, but to be sure it is genuine and authentic. Maybe we can work a bit harder to craft a compliment in a genuine heartfelt manner. The middle may be the answer or maybe we can get a consensus from a twitter test. Either way, my belief is this: A compliment is about making the other person feel good, not about feeling good about ourselves.

I encourage you to go out and give a compliment today and see what happens. Together, we could possibly change the world.

Success Principles Learned on the Golf Course...

The state of Minnesota is known for its many lakes. But this week all eyes are on Hazeltine National Golf Course in Chaska, Minnesota. Competitive golfers and fans of the sport are gathering for the 91st Professional Golfers Association (PGA) Championship. With the highest amount of golfers per capita of any state in the U.S., this prestigious and rather lengthy golf course has been swarming with spectators for the last three days of practice rounds with some of the biggest names in professional sports.

Since our home is less than eight miles from this event and thanks to a very generous brother-in-law, my husband and I were able to experience this rare occurrence first-hand today. After clearing security, we entered the venue with a drove of spectators, each with their own agenda. The hustle and bustle of excited viewers was more stimulating to experience than your average morning cup of coffee. We quickly decided to head to the back nine (that’s hole numbers 10-18 for you none golfers). Hole number 16 is a signature hole for this golf course. Everyone who follows golf in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area has heard of the ‘amazing 16th hole’ at Hazeltine.

After a gorgeous nature hike through tree-lined wooded paths and scurrying over manicured, lush greens we found our destination and took a seat. The grandstands were sparse; the nearest person was more than 10 feet away. I sat speechless in awe of the magnificent view before me. The temperature was still at a comfortable 75 degrees F and rising, the sun rays beat down on my fair Minnesota skin and a warm breeze blew softly across the lake. The majestic oak trees gently swayed and a vast array of wildlife took flight from the prairie grass. This was a perfect time to appreciate all of God’s creation.

By now, you might be asking what in the world does this have to do with success in life. Well, recently I heard this stunning piece of real estate being described by some golf professionals. They used words like intimidating and difficult with a potential for dramatic change. Yes, this 16th hole did look different than the other seventeen holes, but in a good way…to the spectator, not the player.

Seemingly, this peninsula taunts players and appears to play with their minds. Both the professional and the amateur become nervous when facing this test. Yet a headline in today’s newspaper read: PGA championships: ‘Sixteen is one the best holes in America’.

Okay, let’s get this straight…in golf, intimidating and difficult with a potential for dramatic change is desirable? In fact, it is. The golfers agree that these obstacles and stumbling blocks help the best become better. It challenges men of every skill level to dig deep and find the champion within.

For those of us who earn our living outside of professional sports, these same situations arise. Many times we can become intimidated with a challenge before us. We view the task ahead as difficult with a high potential for dramatic change. We become nervous when the obstruction appears. We hear the taunting in our head.

But the good news is that those hurdles and impediments are there to show us how strong we are. When was the last time you broke through a wall in your path? Did you remove the bricks one by one with a logical, systematic approach or did you hit it head on and break through with fire and gusto? Remember how great life was on the other side? You are a stronger, better, faster person today because of a once seemingly impossible barrier in front of you.

The next four days of the PGA Championship tournament are sure to be filled with thrills and upsets and in the end, a new 2009 champion will be crowned. Let’s watch and learn and grow with these golfers, knowing success comes to those who persevere.

Are Women Going 'Back to the Basics'?

There has been a great deal in the media lately about women being good leaders, strong in the business place, growing more and more confident and able to handle both work and family. Time magazine ran an article a few months back which agreed with many of these points. While waiting in the doctor’s office, I had a chance to glance at that editorial and found myself nodding in agreement, thinking ‘well of course that is true’.

In my own experience, the more I grew and accomplished as a woman, the more I wanted other women to experience the same rewarding satisfaction inside. For years, when asked what I do for a living, I have told people that I help women make a great first impression every time they walk through the door. Even though I have a tremendous amount of education and experience working with skin care, cosmetics, colour analysis and clothing personalities, I always point to some very basic things that we as women can do to grow into who we were created to be. See if you agree with any of these:

1. Attain a together appearance before walking out the door.
   Simple things like keeping a current haircut and eye glass frames, nails filed, good personal hygiene and dressing appropriately for the work place. Taking a few extra seconds to check in the mirror before heading out for the day allows us to take our eyes off of ourselves and go out to give to others.


2. Sustain a good attitude.
   Remember that not every day is going to go as planned, but sometimes one door closes so another can open up. People who carry a ‘woe is me’ attitude with them seem to repel others. Doesn’t it make more sense to be so upbeat that others move toward you and ask ‘what in the world are you so happy about?’


3. Maintain a favorable work ethic.
   Knowing that there is no such thing as a free lunch in life, implies that it is going to take some effort to achieve anything worthwhile. We’ve all heard that it’s the early bird that gets the worm. Many times persistence is just as important. Remember that when our hard work sometimes is not showing the fruit we would like to bear, it’s really important to implement point B) at this time while we are pressing on to our goals.

These are three very basic points that seem to be present in any successful woman that comes to my mind (and there are a lot of them). Maybe women have found a way to eradicate the excess and get down to the basics, finding that the nuts and bolts can strengthen the foundation. Maybe we are in the process of opening our eyes to what is really important to each of us. Whatever the reason, here is something we may all agree upon…the tallest of buildings is unable to stand unless a firm foundation is in place. So let’s use those basics in our favor and soar to new heights.

C.P.R for Twenty Years of Marriage...

While reading some comments on a social media site the other day, I came across a response that caught my attention. When one woman stated that she had been married for twenty years, another woman told her to blog about this accomplishment because she would have a great deal of wisdom to share with others.

In September of 2009, my husband and I will also celebrate our twentieth wedding anniversary. I, like the woman above, really don’t consider myself to have great marital advice. Yet, while pondering the diverse array of responders that day, I realized that there are a couple of things that do keep my own marriage growing.

I’m full aware that not everyone reading this blog is married, but for those who are or may be contemplating marriage, here are the three main ingredients that breathe life into our union.

C = Communication:
“Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing.” (Rollo May) Communication is listed first because this is the number one thing that changed our marriage for the better. Years ago, my husband and I like many other new parents, struggled to ‘get along’ when our children were little. Everything was new, busy and (most of the time) off-center. Sleep was a precious commodity; Tempers flared because we were both tired and had no idea what the other was thinking or doing. We realized that we needed to make our marriage a priority by communicating. Today, this is accomplished by simply taking some time once in awhile to sit on the couch (after the kids are in bed) with a glass of wine and just share whatever comes to mind. I will offer my opinion here of the two most important points for both spouses during communication:

1) Remember you BOTH get a chance to talk.

2) The word LISTEN has the same letters as the word SILENT.

P = Planning:
“There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important thing.” (Brian Tracy) I have to admit, it took me some time to come up with a fitting word for the letter P. However, after reading Brian Tracy’s quote, it was easy. When a husband and wife are continually planning for their future together, they are looking forward with hope and faith. This essential ingredient takes effort and participation from both sides, but the rewards surpass all. This may include planning what their family may look like five or ten years down the road, where the couple will travel and explore or it may consist of setting financial goals. Whatever the plans, this action has a way of drawing a couple closer while raising anticipation and joy.

R = Romance:
“Treasure your relationships, not your possessions.” (Anthony J. D’Angelo) Of course one of the three main ingredients for a living, breathing marriage is romance. Life will always be filled with crazy schedules and circumstances beyond our control. The real test is to continue to place in front of you, all the reasons you chose marriage in the beginning. Keeping the romance alive starts with small steps…date nights, an evening walk or bike ride together, a picnic in the park…it doesn’t have to be extravagant or cost a lot. Last week, my husband picked up a couple of lobsters from the grocery store and we ate in instead of going out. There was no birthday or holiday; we just randomly decided to do a little something extra, just the two of us, since our kids were gone for the evening.

I certainly do not claim to be an expert in relationships. Nor will I tell you that marriage is easy. But what I can share with you is real examples that have worked for my marriage for almost twenty years; Communication, planning and romance are three essential components that have resuscitated our life with hope and happiness. How about you? Have you refreshed your C.P.R. skills lately?

Lessons In Uncommon Places...

My husband loves reading and has a passion for history. Just the other night he rattled off a date of some event they were talking about on television…before the reporters gave the date. Although I don’t hold the same level of interest in history, I was still in awe at how quickly the information came to him-nothing short of amazing in my mind. He reads daunting books with 300, 400 and some even 500+ pages in length, all of them about history, ones that I only will glance at on the book shelf and sigh. For me, reading something with that fine print and thickness would be like trying to run a full marathon without training. I would wonder if I would be able to finish.

There has been no book that he has talked more about than “Uncommon Friends” by James Newton. It is a (357 page) book about the lives of Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Harvey Firestone, Alexis Carrel and Charles Lindbergh. They are five 20th century giants known personally by very few – except for James Newton. Many know the accomplishments of these great men but Newton captures their lives on a personal level.

Since my husband spoke so highly of this book (and so frequently) I decided to open the book randomly and begin reading. I had no idea what would happen next. Not only did this author keep my attention, but he was able to colour a vivid picture of who Henry Ford was as a man. After I flew through just 10 or 12 pages of encouraging printed words, I decided to stop to share some pearls of wisdom from Henry Ford:

“The purpose of money is to provide more opportunity to perform more service. Short-sighted businessmen think first of money, but service is what really makes or breaks a business; without it, customers soon go elsewhere.”

“True happiness comes from the realization of accomplishment.”

“If money is your only hope for independence, you will never have it.”

“It’s our first duty to do the right thing, and this will earn us the right money.”

“We ought to think of our country as a servant of mankind. A trustworthy, righteous nation, whose joy is to help all people toward peace and progress. Except for idealists there would have been no United States."

These quotes contain tremendous power and wisdom. Valuable insights can be gleaned by examining the thought process of historical figures. Reading a large book on history is more of an uncommon place for me, but when I chose to go out of my comfort zone I was blessed with great wisdom to learn, grow and share. How about you? Is there an uncommon place you need to visit from which you could learn?

Real Life Fender Benders...

While running errands today, a song came on the radio that has a catchy little tune and quirky words that strike home with women. I started humming along the first time I heard it and now my daughter enjoys singing along as well. Its fun, relatable message goes something like this… “Got couple dents in my fender – got a couple rips in my jeans – trying to put the pieces together, but perfection is my enemy”. This song, “Free to Be Me” is sung by a girl named Francesca Battistelli.

I had to chuckle to myself today because my 16 year old put a dent in my husbands sedan earlier this month. She was driving with her father, and while parking at the mall, she happened to hit the gas pedal instead of the brake. The car popped up over the curb and knocked over the small ‘temporary parking’ sign on a metal post in front of her. My daughter and my husband each were startled but the moment of fear caused opposite reactions to the minor event - One being silence with a frozen look on her face, the other a verbal outburst.

Some time has passed and we now giggle when we see the sign, which has once again tilted toward the ground because of the unfortunate incident. When retelling the story, friends have asked how we can now make light of this incident…typically from mom’s who have children close to the age of 16.

Here’s what I learned that can help you:

1) Find a Practical Perspective
“When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about.” (Albert Einstein) In the overall scheme of things, this was a minor accident, but a good teaching moment. Truthfully, it gave both parties involved, a chance to learn and grow. One received education on what to do when denting dad’s car, the other was reminded not to sweat the small stuff because it’s all small stuff.
2) Have a Reasonable Expectation
“In the middle of every difficulty, lies opportunity.” (Albert Einstein) Expecting that our new driver will go through the learning curve perfectly is unrealistic. Understanding and accepting this while going through this trying time for both parent and child, allows us the freedom to become flexible. When there is room to breath, an opportunity exists for discovery, independence, wisdom and certainty to grow.
3) Say a Sensible Word
“Correction does much, but encouragement does more.” (Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe) Will there be more fender benders? Probably. Will there be more good driving experiences than bad? Yes. It seems that from all my past ‘dents’ and ‘rips’, it is better to encourage someone to pick themselves up one more time and try again, rather than let them know all that they have done wrong.

No one ever said life is easy. Many of us have to experience things a couple of times before realizing the lesson. When we keep our perspectives and expectations in check, while speaking encouragement, we are free to laugh and sing while we put the pieces together from our real life ‘rips’ and ‘dents’.

The Ultimate Gift of a Coach...

Thirteen days ago, I had arthroscopic knee surgery to remove a cyst that was growing out of the fibers on my Anterior Cruciate Ligament – more commonly referred to as the ACL. The surgery was a little different because the doctors decompressed this cyst rather than removing it and my ACL. RICE (Rest, Ice, Compression and Elevation) was my only task for nearly two weeks.

Yesterday it was back to TRIA Orthopaedic Center to remove the stitches. I was then sent directly to meet Monte, my physical therapist. After just two PT sessions with Monte, I’m pleased to announce that my knee is gaining much mobility, the fluid is decreasing and the pain is leaving. In fact, I feel that the knee is so much better that I have given my therapist the nickname, Miracle Monte. (Of course he laughed when I told him that.)

Today was my second appointment. While lying on the table receiving my well earned treat…use of the “Game Ready” ice machine, I had time to ponder about these brief, painful but helpful sessions I completed. Monte is my coach. He runs the game plan. When I perform at a mediocre level, he pushes me to do better. He believes I can do more and perform better with each session I work out with him. Monte has the road map; he knows my goals and is there to coach me through when I would prefer to give up.

Monte is a terrific coach because he has the ability to motivate while he trains. Because he continues to cheer me on and remind me of the progress I am making, I’m able to push through the tough times. He continues to raise the bar and asks me to reach higher, but never forgets to remind me of how far I have come.

The ability to encourage and inspire while guiding an individual to peak performance is a gift…the ultimate gift.

The folks at this orthopaedic center have a mission “Whatever your personal goals are, TRIA has the experts to work with you to help you achieve the highest level of function with the best outcome possible.” My goal of having a knee that functions properly is going to take much effort. Quite frankly, I would never be able to push myself to accomplish that goal, nor would I know how to do it on my own.

You may be a coach or you may be looking for a coach to guide you to a higher level of function with the best outcome possible. Wherever you are in life, remember the ultimate gift…encouraging and inspiring while leading.

A New Perspective on Calendar Management...

Imagine walking into a room feeling confident, poised and energized. Your dreams are big and your motivation is high. You have your goals set, the action plan in place, you have even hired a coach to help you stay on track and keep pace with your demanding schedule. You live in a nice home in a great part of town and have a wonderful spouse and kids. There is so much to be thankful for. The warmth of the sunshine on your arms and the pleasant breeze blowing against your face are all reminders that life is good.

Then you look at the calendar for the next week. It seems to be filled with numbered black squares bursting with a rainbow of colours denoting each doctor appointment, early morning conference call, and after-hours meet and greet along with the vast array of children’s sporting activities that overlap and require permission slips and transportation.

Sure, life is hectic. We get by on too little sleep, promising to catch up on weekends. But we never do. To remain healthy and stay confident, poised and energized means being good to yourself too. Since the calendar refuses to clear itself, how about taking a new perspective to carve out some ‘play time’ for you?

How can you spend your play time? If you’re rattling off sports activities, forget it. Those don’t count. If you have forgotten how to play, break out the bubbles, kites, colouring books and most of all your imagination! Make up a game with rocks or loose change. Get some sidewalk chalk, a croquet set and some jacks; If you feel silly…good! If you don’t want the neighbors talking, join in with some kids or play with the dog.

Did you know that play time is one of the most healing activities for your health? Cut free from the rules, worry and stress. Most importantly, abandon your adult fixations and get in touch with your inner child. There’s a kid in all of us, just waiting for play time.

The place to improve the world is first in one’s own heart and head and hands. ~Robert M. Pirsig

The Power of Understanding...

During my last visit to the dentist, I found that my hygienist, whom I had been seeing for the last 2 years, had resigned from her position. Her second child had arrived and she chose to partake in all the wonderful rewards of being an at home mom. (As an at-home mom for 11years, I’m a little biased). The young, new replacement hygienist with perfect white teeth introduced herself as she walked me to the dental chair. As I sat back, she asked me three or four questions, swiped a glance at my last x-rays and began to power back the head of my chair all in an orderly fashion. Her lack of conversation made me wonder if she was unhappy about something. I hoped she was not having a bad day because I was about to open my mouth and who knows what could happen next.

Thankfully the new gal was rather gentle but still diligent with her task. At one point during the initial exam of my teeth, she removed her utensils. I used that moment to ask a question. Her response caught me off guard a bit. She answered with a yes because we “had enough time”. I looked around and did not see any stop watch or schedule posted to know if we were ahead or behind schedule, yet she seemed very ‘aware’ of the clock. Inside I felt awkward because I wasn’t sure if I had taken too much time or asked a dumb question. Basically, I wasn’t sure how to read her response and I was missing my bubbly, sociable hygienist that I had grown to adore.
The rest of the checkup went smoothly and I was on my way after having another A+ visit. All the way home, I was thinking about how different that checkup was compared to what I have experienced in the last 2 years. The only new variable was a new person.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks - My previous hygienist was a very outgoing, people oriented type of person, while the new hygienist was more reserved and quite task oriented. I did not do anything wrong nor was there any problems with the care I was given. What I failed to realize at the time, was that these two ladies were different personalities and viewed life through different lens!

Here’s what we know…theoretically the world can be divided into two. There are people who are people oriented and there are people who are more task oriented. Neither is right nor wrong, they are just different.

The first hygienist who cared for me was on the people side – she would always ask how I was doing, how my kids were, what our family was up to…things like that. To be honest, it took forever to get started with the checkup because she and I would chat and chat and chat. I too am an outgoing person and appreciate the people connection. On the other hand, the second hygienist saw the task ahead of her and most likely because she was new, wanted to do things “by the book” and make a good impression. She was focused on her assignment and getting done on time. Again, neither is right nor wrong, the approaches were just different.

All in all, I realized that if I would have thought more about the new hygienist given her personality and situation of being the new kid on the block, I could have helped ease any nerves and showed more interest in her…instead of expecting the reverse. Sometimes we all just need to be reminded that taking time to understand the other person can usually improve a relationship.

An interesting side note to this story…when I told my husband about the experience I had encountered at the dentist, his only comment was, “Sounds like I would like the new hygienist. After all, we go to the dentist to have our teeth cleaned, don’t we?” Ah…the power of understanding people!

Declaring Independence...

Independence Day - Fourth of July. Americans love their freedoms. Freedom to travel where they want, choose the home they live in, pick a career and a lifestyle. We even sing about the land of the free and the home of the brave. The Declaration of Independence embodies the values of Americans; the right of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

On this Independence Day 2009, I find myself reflecting on freedoms of all kinds as I lie on the couch recovering from knee surgery just two days prior. With a pillow under my affected leg and bandages covering the stitches, I’m forced to take things slowly. My family is ‘on call’ 24/7 because the ability to run up the steps quickly to get my glasses or scoot into the kitchen for a sandwich is quite difficult for me. Ironic isn’t it? That today, July 4th, is the day that America is celebrating our country’s freedom with family gatherings, cookouts and fireworks and here I sit completely DEpendent on others for help.

By in large, I am a person, who loves freedom. I prefer to be in control, to have the freedom to change my mind and to have a variety of choices for how to live my life. Independence and freedom are comfort zones for me. But today, I’m taking time to appreciate all that I have and the amazing potential that is before me.

This focus on freedom reminded me of something that Robert Kiyosaki’s wife Kim wrote in her book Rich Woman…“With every little victory you accomplish, your confidence increases. Increased confidence leads to higher self-esteem. Higher self-esteem leads to greater success, which ultimately leads to the greatest gift of all – freedom.”

The Declaration of Independence was a victory for America. In turn, this country gained confidence and esteem which ultimately led to our greatest gift of freedom. For you and me, each personal victory elevates certainty and value. The freedom we’ve gained from those events is something to appreciate.

What personal victories have you experienced? Today may be the time for you to reflect on the freedom and independence you have gained and declare your future potential.

Do You Have Double Vision?

I’ve heard it said…’If you do today what others won’t…you can live tomorrow like others can’t’. It makes complete sense. I know how I want my life to look tomorrow; I’ve played the video over and over in my mind for years. How hard could it possibly be? Just do a few important things each day and eventually my tomorrow will become a reality. There you have it; simple, right?

However, along the journey toward my blissful tomorrow, I have found one thing that seems to be extremely important yet most difficult to achieve. It is the act of self-discipline – training and controlling myself and my conduct to progress toward my goals and dreams.

Writing this blog holds a measure of self-discipline. I have a goal in place for posting new material, yet the calendar days flip by like a speeding race car. Today, I find myself caught between what I want to do and what I know I need to do. Obviously I have not yet mastered self-discipline, but it has become evident that self-discipline should occur first before my vision of tomorrow will become a reality. This develops into a ‘first this, then that’ type of scenario. A form of double vision - having one eye focused on today and the other eye focused on tomorrow.

Double vision for my teenager means in order for her to achieve her career goals tomorrow, she needs to focus on each class in school, which will add to, or subtract from, her GPA today.

Double vision in my role as mother, says that each and every time I stand firm while teaching values and obedience to my children today, I’m grooming them for a future tomorrow of significance and strength.

What are your eyes fixed on for today and tomorrow?

It will require self-discipline to keep one eye fixed on the important things which ought to be done today. There is an old saying that…’discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons’. If that is the case, might I suggest that we have the self-discipline to accomplish what is important today; so that we can be free tomorrow to live our destiny (without regret)!

Connecting Face-to-Face and Heart-to-Heart...

After months of not seeing each other, a good friend and I met recently for coffee. Our lives travel slightly different roads right now, but there remains a firm foundation in which our values, interests and families are similar. Because of the long absence, there were many updates for each of us to share. However, I was astonished to see that three hours disappeared in a flash. While driving home that afternoon alone with my thoughts in my minivan, I reflected on the special time I just had with my friend. My spirits were lifted, I felt calmer and more at peace. A new energy was present. I was refreshed and ready to get back to my life.

We seem to get so lost in our daily routine and before we know it, days, weeks and months have disappeared. Our first instinct is to throw out a quick email or text to ‘check-in’ with our friend…when deep inside, what we really desire is to laugh, share and connect face to face and heart to heart.

Now you are probably, thinking how can I fit it in? Have you seen my schedule? One thing that might help you get started making more connections, is to make an appointment. Schedule your connection time with your friends just like you would to see the doctor, dentist or go on a vacation. There are a couple of ways I plan my connection time. One group of my friends gets together the last Tuesday of every month. We call it Mom’s Night Out. Husbands and children are not allowed. There are times that some are not able to make it so they just plan for the next month. Additionally, my family knows in advance that I’m unavailable that night because it is on the calendar. Another friend and I meet on the 13th of the month, no matter what day of the week it is. Again, it’s on the calendar.

Putting a priority on maintaining relationship with your friends and family is just as vital as success in business place. A blend of the two areas can create a happier, healthier you. Believe me…YOU are worth it! Flip the Switch and reconnect with someone today.

Mountain Moving...

I just got off the phone with a Pastor friend of mine. Today’s topic of conversation was about moving the mountains in our life. No we didn’t speak about the gigantic obstacles of world hunger or economic turmoil. We talked of the everyday challenges that everyday people experience - the ones that pop up when your day is progressing in an effortless manner. Things like the annoying flat tire on your way to work, the torrential rainfall on the weekend of your family camping trip or the endless waiting period to get an answer on a job or home purchase.

Yesterday, a mountain presented itself in the middle of my preplanned agenda. After numerous visits to a variety of doctors, yesterday was the day that my ailing knee would be repaired. I was energized with the thought that I would find relief of pain after one year and get on with my life. Needless to say, this new doctor realized that the procedure we were about to do, was not the best course of action for my condition. Once again, MY plan was aborted and I was forced to switch gears. All the way home, I whined, complained and yelled at God. My pity party was complete when I grumbled with disgust that I always have to scratch and claw to get everything in life but for others, things come very easily.

Have you ever been walking down the street and see someone acting irrational? You say to yourself, “They are making such a fool of themselves”, only to look back on your own behavior and realize your foolishness just the prior day?

Yesterday I was completely convinced that I had a right to vent about my circumstance. Then today a dear friend, shares Mark 11:23 “Whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed…” and my foolishness became clear. I was trying to move the mountain on my own.

The truth is, there will always be a mountain, sometime big sometimes small. From experience, I know there also will be someone there to help you move it. It is natural to react in a foolish way when the mountain presents itself. However, it's much more helpful to listen to the people in your life that have been placed near you to help you through.

What is your mountain? Is it new or has it been there awhile? Do you have more than one? Trust that God has a plan and has put people in your life to help you get the mountain out of the way.

Lessons from a Teenager...

Each stage of a child’s life is unique and fresh. I remember how thankful I was when my oldest daughter was able to get herself dressed, put on her own shoes and most of all…no more diapers! It seemed I had arrived at a whole new level of motherhood. I rejoiced in the little independent person she was becoming.

Today, that same daughter is 16 years old, gainfully employed, driving my mini van and has a boyfriend. The level of independence has dramatically increased but my rejoicing has diminished considerably. I am now learning to let go once again and find the joy in her independence…but in a whole new way.

When my daughter was recently applying for a job we began discussing what the potential employer might ask her in an interview. Then when they hired her, she had questions about how her first day might transpire. The questions kept coming one right after another. Thankfully I have learned and teach the Model of Human Behavior, so I understand that this daughter is ‘wired to wonder’. She has a natural tendency to need a lot of information, so she can be at peace and feel prepared. I, on the other hand, thought that she should just jump in with both feet because it would be an adventure.

The little voice in my head said, “You don’t know what you don’t know.” The reality is that my daughter had never done anything like this before, so she had no frame of reference to guide her.

When life events happen, there are lessons to be learned. The good news is that I can learn something from everyone…even a 16 year old. As the parent in this situation, what I learned was to adopt some of the ‘BE Attitudes’. In order to best help my daughter, I needed to:
BE Loving – no matter what happened
BE the Adult – answer her questions from my experience
BE Real – let her know that I was nervous too
BE Gracious – allow her to share her fears and her excitement while I LISTEN
BE Creative – give her some examples of how people answer interview questions
BE a Fan – cheer for her through it all

Is there somewhere you can adopt and apply the ‘BE Attitudes’ in your life today? Remember, what you say is important and what you do is significant.

Cool WIP Guarantee...

With a degree in Accounting and after spending several years in the financial world, the acronym WIP came up frequently.

In the business world WIP is a Work in Progress; work that has not been completed but has already incurred a capital investment. Investopedia.com explains that WIP is usually recorded as an asset (a resource with economic value with the expectation that it will provide future benefit) on the balance sheet. (Stick with me here - I guarantee this post will get more cool.) They state that WIP indicates any good that is not considered to be a final product, but must still be accounted for because funds have been invested toward its production. Now...let’s break that down and find the key points:

WIP:
Work in Progress
Work not yet completed
Already incurred an investment
An asset
A resource with value expecting to provide future benefit
Any good not yet finished
Accounted for because an investment has been made

WOMEN:
A work in progress
A work not yet completed
Already incurred an investment in life
An asset
A resource with value that can provide future benefit
A good work not yet finished
Want to be accountable because of prior investments made

Can't help but notice the similarities, huh?!

Whether you feel your life is like a flower bud ready to burst or you are a flower bulb lying in the ground, I guarantee you are a work in progress! You ARE a good work not yet finished! And here's the cool part...The world is waiting to experience the beauty and splendor of who YOU are becoming.

Today you can pass along the Cool WIP Guarantee to your girlfriends and show them who you are becoming.

Why not do what you do with a passion, because it’s your only life. ~Anonymous

Introducing...

COMING SOON!

A resource designed to encourage, educate and equip real women for the real world. Excuse our mess right now - this blog is a work in progress. But check back often to share in the growth. Until then, have an inspirational day.